The waiting place

I'm in a weird place right now...the waiting place. And I don't like it one bit!

Growing up I was always waiting for the next thing. Couldn't wait to turn 13. Then it was 16. Then it was 18. Then couldn't wait to graduate high school...go to college...find my next boyfriend...graduate from college...get married...land the perfect job...have baby number one...move out of an apartment...have baby number two...not be poor (still waiting on that one - ha ha)...buy our first house...for my boys to get older...for some freedom from chasing toddlers...to have a baby girl...for little ones to heal from horrible sicknesses....

This isn't to say I'm not a content person. I actually really like being content where I am as long as there isn't anything on my mind that I think I should be waiting for. (that was meant as a joke)

I have been in a content state for awhile but lately I have found myself once again in a state of waiting for the next thing.

I am waiting for my house to sell. I am waiting for sister girl to not be two and stop peeing in her clothes only when we are in a nice restaurant surrounded by strangers. I am waiting for my husband to finish his Doctorate degree, which finally he is soooo close to the end I can see the light! I am waiting now for news on a project that I have devoted my free time to working on for the past eight months. I am waiting to see if I should put sister girl in preschool next year as a three year old and land the perfect part-time job or keep her at home one more year with me and not work. I am waiting for a new volunteer job I have taken on to start - and all the fear and anxiety that goes along with this new position is waiting for me!

So I go from content and not 'wanting' anything to all of a sudden in a place where God is making me look at my day and be purposeful about where I let my mind wander. Do I spend countless minutes, hours, thinking about all of these things and growing anxious over them or do I rest in the time I have and look at what I am not waiting on right then. All of these things I am "waiting" on are actually things I just really "want" and wouldn't necessarily bring me any more happiness in life than I already have.

So, in this waiting period I am trying very hard to discipline myself to not get caught up in the act of waiting and wanting what I have no control over and just live contently in the moment.