December is fast approaching...and no that doesn't mean a countdown to Christmas (although delightful as it is) but rather a countdown to when I'm over the hill...over the bump rather...(okay, all those friends of mine who are older just go ahead and roll your eyes now)the bump of 35.
Yes, I'm one of those women who contrary to popular belief couldn't wait to be older. I have always longed for the next big birthday whether it was 10 (2 digits), 13 (teenager), 16 (could drive), 18 (well, yes I could go to Century 21- the night club in the middle of the cotton fields of West Tn.- good times, good times) and then I'm sorry to say 21 for obvious reasons. Then I graduated college and got married and not long after had a baby so I couldn't wait to be 30 so I was no longer considered "young". Once 30 came and went I looked forward to turning 35 b/c then I wasn't lumped with the "young 30 year olds" but rather could be in the mature and wise category (quit laughing at me)!
But now all that is over...I'm at the top of this tall roller coaster that I have been trying to reach for so long and I see the clouds and I see miles and miles of land stretched out before me but wait...I...have...to...start...falling...down...the hill! (oh my goodness this sounds so dramatic - y'all know I'm chuckling to myself as I write this).
What will happen as I race down this roller coaster?
And then I realized I will just have to climb yet another steep hill- full of more adventures. I now have 3 kids who can use the bathroom by themselves, eat by themselves, almost brush their teeth and hair by themselves-yes, my 8 year old still needs assistance =). I am for the first time planning for my future and what I want to do with my life beyond mothering. I am facing this next birthday and the next five years as a time I will truly be in the running for a new me.
When will I reach the top of this next big hill on the roller coaster? 40! You got it! But hopefully as I'm dramatically crying over starting a new decade in life I will be finishing college with a new degree and the beginning of a new career - I will have a son in high school learning to drive and God forbid dating...I will have another one in Jr. High and my sweet sister girl will be settled into elementary school.
We had our first night of a college host family with two young men from Nate's department who came over. I cooked everything I could find in my freezer and threw in a homemade apple pie and gallon of milk and nervously waited for them to arrive with my rug rats running around the house and finishing up homework.
Of course they were the cutest young men - looked like both of them stepped out of a GQ magazine but boy were they young. When I asked what year they graduated from high school the more talkative one said "last year!" all proud of himself and the other boldly stated "2008...I'm an old man" - oh dear me...I'm so old I thought as I chuckled out loud.
They called me ma'am and complimented my cooking while they talked about air planes with Nate and played video games with the boys (and sister girl somehow ended up shirtless and dancing around the living room...blowing kisses to them when they walked out the door - I better keep my eye on that one). I realized that yep, I'm older now. I'm now where I so longed to be for so many years of my life.
I am mature (although I admit there is always more maturing one can go through) - I am slowly gaining wisdom - I am experienced in the ups and downs of life - I am at a place where I can sit back and love on my family but have enough life under my belt to partner with Nate and love on some strangers who might just need a little extra attention in their own lives.
And even though I'm called Ma'am, I have about 43 wrinkles around my eyes when I smile real big, I don't get carded when I buy a bottle of wine and I'm staring down 40...I guess I kind of like it.
