I had three years before life returned to normal...

Three years ago in October I told myself these very words, "Sarah (I like to call myself by name - it feels more personal)you have three years to get through this and after that your life will return to what you know as normal!"

Yep...three years of starting over with the baby thing. Leaky boobs, sleepless nights, building arm muscles from toting a baby carrier then a toddler. Three years of rocking, soothing, feeding another person at the table, not talking to your friends at restaurants, buckling car seats, bathing, buying diapers. Three years of self-sacrifice! You can do this!

And I have!

Sister Girl is now 3! And I am patting myself on the back and taking a sigh of relief. It has been quite fun, challenging, exciting, dramatic and scary!

But now life is calming down. I have officially changed my last poopy diaper (from a child I birthed that is); no more feeding children (although you will still find me on occasion shoving food down Elizabeth's mouth); I can sit at a restaurant with friends and have a conversation (even if there will be an inch of chips crushed under our feet and a few staring customers); I can have wonderful conversations with all three of my children now (including "my left ear hurts!" - always a joy to know).

So to celebrate this milestone in the Callender household we allowed Sister Girl a real Princess birthday party. And thanks to my mom who swooped in on a work related trip to Nashville I had motivation to decorate over the top and plenty of extra party favors (you gotta love grandparents!).

And this is what happened...






Short and sweet - packed full of "preschool" games (Pin the crown on the Princess, Prince - Prince - Princess (duck, duck, goose), Pass the Glass slipper, and hide and go seek the missing royal items). All the little princesses had a wonderful time and Elizabeth only screamed at one child when she tried to take her present away after opening it.

Happy Birthday to my sweet Sister Girl! It has been quite a ride the last 3 years and I look forward to many more...

The countdown begins

December is fast approaching...and no that doesn't mean a countdown to Christmas (although delightful as it is) but rather a countdown to when I'm over the hill...over the bump rather...(okay, all those friends of mine who are older just go ahead and roll your eyes now)the bump of 35.

Yes, I'm one of those women who contrary to popular belief couldn't wait to be older. I have always longed for the next big birthday whether it was 10 (2 digits), 13 (teenager), 16 (could drive), 18 (well, yes I could go to Century 21- the night club in the middle of the cotton fields of West Tn.- good times, good times) and then I'm sorry to say 21 for obvious reasons. Then I graduated college and got married and not long after had a baby so I couldn't wait to be 30 so I was no longer considered "young". Once 30 came and went I looked forward to turning 35 b/c then I wasn't lumped with the "young 30 year olds" but rather could be in the mature and wise category (quit laughing at me)!

But now all that is over...I'm at the top of this tall roller coaster that I have been trying to reach for so long and I see the clouds and I see miles and miles of land stretched out before me but wait...I...have...to...start...falling...down...the hill! (oh my goodness this sounds so dramatic - y'all know I'm chuckling to myself as I write this).

What will happen as I race down this roller coaster?

And then I realized I will just have to climb yet another steep hill- full of more adventures. I now have 3 kids who can use the bathroom by themselves, eat by themselves, almost brush their teeth and hair by themselves-yes, my 8 year old still needs assistance =). I am for the first time planning for my future and what I want to do with my life beyond mothering. I am facing this next birthday and the next five years as a time I will truly be in the running for a new me.

When will I reach the top of this next big hill on the roller coaster? 40! You got it! But hopefully as I'm dramatically crying over starting a new decade in life I will be finishing college with a new degree and the beginning of a new career - I will have a son in high school learning to drive and God forbid dating...I will have another one in Jr. High and my sweet sister girl will be settled into elementary school.

We had our first night of a college host family with two young men from Nate's department who came over. I cooked everything I could find in my freezer and threw in a homemade apple pie and gallon of milk and nervously waited for them to arrive with my rug rats running around the house and finishing up homework.

Of course they were the cutest young men - looked like both of them stepped out of a GQ magazine but boy were they young. When I asked what year they graduated from high school the more talkative one said "last year!" all proud of himself and the other boldly stated "2008...I'm an old man" - oh dear me...I'm so old I thought as I chuckled out loud.

They called me ma'am and complimented my cooking while they talked about air planes with Nate and played video games with the boys (and sister girl somehow ended up shirtless and dancing around the living room...blowing kisses to them when they walked out the door - I better keep my eye on that one). I realized that yep, I'm older now. I'm now where I so longed to be for so many years of my life.

I am mature (although I admit there is always more maturing one can go through) - I am slowly gaining wisdom - I am experienced in the ups and downs of life - I am at a place where I can sit back and love on my family but have enough life under my belt to partner with Nate and love on some strangers who might just need a little extra attention in their own lives.

And even though I'm called Ma'am, I have about 43 wrinkles around my eyes when I smile real big, I don't get carded when I buy a bottle of wine and I'm staring down 40...I guess I kind of like it.

Actions speak louder then words

I'm running like crazy around here...studying (I am half way through the class from H*LL and I have an A!!!); baking 4 dozen cupcakes for Fall Festival; teaching 3 year olds about cowboys, rattlesnakes and prairie dogs; raising a 10 year old boy who wants to shower all the time, an 8 year old boy who likes to tell me my breath stinks when I kiss him good night, and a soon to be 3 year old "princess" who threw my first ever experienced Wal-Mart Holy Terror Tantrum (as in..."I want a BARBEEEEE" all the way through Wally World out to the van and continuing to our house 15 minutes later where I finally let out my breath and beat...I mean taught sister girl that Momma Don't Put Up With That Kind Of Mess!) I am smiling now don't worry about me...

But amongst all of this we in the Callender household have learned a very real lesson in life and love and compassion---



My husband shaved his wonderful head of hair because of this sweet little ten year old boy, Preston. Preston is on Nate's soccer team and he is fighting Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He is currently going through chemo but yet still wants to play soccer each Saturday. And when his hair started to fall out and his mother told Nate about Preston's anxiety over being around the other boys on the team well you know what my husband said.

It was the night before the game when Preston would show up with his shaved head (because in deed his hair was starting to fall out) and Nate went out into the back yard and started buzzing it off. I joined him with a mirror and some extra batteries and we had fun making Mohawks and taking pictures before it all came off.

The boys were a little shocked to say the least but Sister Girl thought it was hilarious. Preston walked up to Nate the next morning and said, "You look funny!" And then the next week he had made (yes, sewn himself) Nate a soccer hat. (He's sewing them for other cancer patients that are in the hospital!)

This has taught our family a lot about compassion - it's not always enough to use words but at times actions speak a lot louder. Preston's dad died last year of cancer...Nate's actions have spoken pretty loud and clear. We are all praying for this sweet little boy with a heart of gold and the will power of a super hero!

I almost forgot I had a blog...

Wow, I almost forgot I had a blog...

Life is a little busy these days to say the least but it's Fall Break and I have a house full of boys running around at 7:30 in the morning (oh and Elizabeth chasing all of them)so I better take advantage of the few minutes I'm sitting here.

My crazy big news that I long ago posted was...I had an "AWE HAH" moment (yes, I almost failed spelling class not to mention phonics 101)this summer while sitting at a Sounds baseball game next to a new friend who could be my mother and has been a nurse her whole life - she now teaches in the nursing program at MTSU. During that evening I decided that is exactly what I was supposed to pursue - a degree in nursing - it just made sense - I could work part time while the kids were little, make a lot of money, and feel like I was doing something to help others. The best part is I keep thinking about all the times I screwed up with Elizabeth during her crazy emergencies over the years where I literally freaked and didn't know what to do with her...if I was a nurse I wouldn't do that!!!!

And I get all excited picturing myself traveling when I'm older to do mission work as a nurse and helping others with my new found talent/skill! It's just so exciting I want to run buy a nurses hat at the Halloween store and walk around checking every one's temperature and blood pressure! Someone please...give me a needle! =)

But it is a huge elephant to chew up so you know what I'm going to say...I will be taking one bight at a time - starting with Statistics!

Before I could talk myself out of it I went and signed up for Elementary Statistics on line - yes, I'm teaching myself something I don't know anything about! Well, actually if that was the case I would have already failed but Nate (who is the Stat's king!)is teaching me each night around 9:00pm! To say I hate this class would be an understatement but it is what it is and yes, I'm striving for an A! =)

I have just a few classes to take that I didn't with my sweet and kind Communication's degree oh, 13 years ago so I'll be focusing on that the next two years. I plan on applying to MTSU's nursing program when Elizabeth is 5. It is a 5 semester full time program and I will graduate with a BS in Nursing. Wow! I'm so excited!!! I'm already thinking about what cute outfits I will need to buy so I can jaywalk across TN. Blvd. with the other cool students and make all the mini-van soccer moms crazy with rage as they slam on their brakes so as not to hit me! =)
(I have issues with rage over 20 year old, boot/jegging wearing jaywalkers in front of my kids' school - FYI)

Other than spending all my "free" time finding Z-scores and making Binomial Probability Distributions I am teaching a class of 3 year olds at Preschool. Don't worry though - no diaper changing and I am actually teaching them! They are all precious and I truly love planning out my lessons for them..."No Dad, I do not think I should be a school teacher!" =)

On M/W/F I am still a stay at home momma to sister girl who is a lot easier these days although she has a loud voice when she screams, "NO!" and has a tendency to shake her booty as she stomps her little foot down to show she really doesn't like what I'm asking - BUT...other than all that with a toddler we are getting along just fine, thank you!

I have actually kept my commitment of exercising at least 2 days of the week now for almost a year...results showing in my "guns" that I will now be hiding during the winter season - but watch out I can totally take you down (as I do often with sister girl) =)

And lastly I am still acting out my role as VP at the boys' school's Parent/Teacher Club - insanely dramatic as most things with large groups of women are but "I will surviiiivvvveeeee!" =)

So, no I'm not pregnant (Amy & Dawn O. - I know you were hoping for more exciting news but thankfully that was not it! =)

I will try to keep up my posting in the months to come...in between putting out fires at the PTC, planning alphabet learning games for my little class, and finding the mean, variance and standard deviations. =)

Changes, they are a coming...

I love being around women...I mean people...set in their ways.

Lord have mercy - the facial expressions, the leg crossing, the biting of cheeks, the crooked eyebrows, the eye rolling, the pinched lips, the grunting under one's breath...it is all quite amusing!

Whenever someone new comes on board you know a little boat rocking is about to happen. You can always tell the difference between the crew members who have been serving long enough to inform you on who built their precious boat and the newbies - the one's who are nervously taking notes, nodding their heads in agreement, smiling and shouting out "amen sister" under their breath.

Oh, to be the new captain of an experienced sailed ship and stand in front of your new crew trying to prove yourself worthy of leading them out into fair weather. To stand tall and not waiver as the dirty looks are given and the whispers float through the air and sting you. To put on your mean face (when you probably want to just hug everyone and ask them to like you) and tell your new crew that you are to be taken serious!

"It won't work." "We've tried that." "I don't think so." "Who is she kidding?"

But in time as the boat sets sail, the crew members start working and the captain exhales a little bit and gets the feel of the worn down planks beneath her feet all becomes calm again.

"Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better."
King Whitney Jr.

"The little house that wouldn't sell"

You know...like "the little engine that wouldn't run"...get it? Sorry, I'm getting into preschool mode so bear with me.

It has been nine months. Wow, that's like carrying a baby. I never thought about it like that but for goodness sakes I've been carrying this dang house around on my shoulders for the past nine months but it didn't birth into a new, larger, more spacious house for my troubles. No...it just fell off my shoulders and allowed me a break - a break to step back and look at it from a new perspective. And it has changed - well my perspective has changed.

This will be hard for some of you to understand depending on your own financial living and your own desires of what you want out of life and for your family. We all don't row in the same boat as we travel down the path of life but we are all going the same route so to speak.

I so wanted to row in a bigger boat. I deserved it didn't I? I have three kids now and I've lived in this house for five years..."everyone" else has bigger houses so why can't I?

I managed to convince my very skeptical husband (who is in the heat of working on his dissertation for his PhD and trying to secure tenure at the university - not a very stable time for the man in my life) to jump on the realty bandwagon and "just give it a try for a few months" before we were both caught up in the whole mess of real estate and selfish desires. I see now why our country is in such a mess.

But wait a minute...let me explain...because I'm being very vague as I try to process my thoughts while writing to strangers/friends in cyberspace. My goal was to find a deal - something bigger that wasn't too much more - but realistically you can't get bigger without paying more and I sure was trying to fool myself (and my husband) into thinking we could.

All that to say - no one offered to buy our house. We had the most viewed house of any property my realtor has ever had. We showed our home over 40 times in nine months. I should have bought stock in Lysol for crying out loud! (I learned to clean my entire house very fast and very good) But no takers. Why didn't it sell? Well, goodness ask any realtor and they'll tell you why...

* priced too high
* needs a bonus room
* And the most precise answer of all - there are so many dag gum houses out there to buy in our market why would they buy ours when they can get a foreclosed house dirt cheap or a new one sitting there with the builder giving it away practically.

My thoughts are finally positive after I humbly and with a bit of wounded pride took down the sign in the front yard. I don't feel like I lost or that I gave up...I know that we will sell the house in a few years but right now I am actually content again.

Ian asked me one day after taking the sign down, "Mom, why did you want to sell the house again?" After I hit my head on the steering wheel and bit my lip I replied, "Well, Ian because mommy thought you and Eli needed more room." Ian's reply, "Oh...we are okay. I like our house." Enough said...

So, now I can sit back in my very clean and updated house and look at my beautiful family photos again, sit on my soft rug again, put my books back on my bookshelf in my bedroom again, and enjoy hanging out with my kids again - instead of yelling at them, "hurry up, we have two hours to clean the house and get out...."

And my big future plans...they totally were born out of carrying this house for the past nine months - God has a plan for each of us - I spent the past nine months fighting against His will (and knew it the whole time) but He is patient and His timing is awesome.

Nothing says a new school year like a color coded calendar!

First week down...27 weeks (nate's guess) left of busy, packed, fun-filled and probably a little hectic schedules.
I spent almost two hours last night color coding my outlook calendar for the family- soccer/green, piano/yellow, school events/blue, scouting/red, preschool/purple...I didn't even ask Nate what he was up to the next 10 months...

But I'm happy to be back at it again. We slept in enough (did I really say that?), watched too much t.v., soaked up way too many ultra-violet waves despite our 50 blockage!

Eli has survived a few anxiety attacks this week, Ian has already had his first x-ray for the school year (no broken wrist just very bruised), attitudes toward "school work" are more positive this time around although Ian told me 2nd grade wasn't as much fun as 1st grade and Eli swears he isn't learning anything new yet.

Surprises already? Eli came home today asking if he should run for student council, which I almost ran off to start using my paint pens and designing his vote for me signs, but controlled myself and casually slipped in that I had been the student council president of my high school at one time. I think I saw a glimmer of awe in his eye but it was quickly replaced by his brother making some sort of disgusting noise in the tub and lots of laughter. Then Eli asked if he should join choir at school, which made me almost burst into laughter bc the boy can't stand being in the spotlight and refuses to let any song slip out his mouth that is audible. I'm thinking we are going through some "changes" this year!

Actually our family will be going through a few new changes this fall but more of that to come in a different post....I'm off to plan Eli's campaign speech and pick a new color for "choir" on my calendar. ;)

Sometimes it just stinks...

Sometimes being an adult just stinks...

Sometimes you realize that you have to go to the store at 9:30pm and buy milk for the next morning even when all you want to do is fall into bed (or watch some t.v.)...and it just stinks.

Sometimes you realize that a friendship truly is over and when you want to pick up the phone and call that person to share a happy thought you can't...and it just stinks.

Sometimes you realize that no matter how much you love someone they can still disappoint you to the point that it hurts...and it just stinks.

Sometimes you realize that a child's need is greater than you are capable of helping him with and so you must go elsewhere for help...and it just stinks.

But life keeps going. You wake up the next morning, with a full glass of milk, look to the friends you do still have, forgive your loved ones even when you don't want to, and reach out for help from those who can give it and you keep going.

bibbity boppity boo...

Sister Girl has a real (I mean crazy) infatuation for anything princess! I used to scoff at such girls as I sat alongside my sons and pushed tractors in the dirt and donned batman wings and Darth Vader masks. Now I have one of those Cinderella dressed, crown sporting, high heal clanking daughters in my house - AND I LOVE IT!

But I realized this week that maybe her obsession with pink, taffeta and glitter had gotten out of control when I proceeded to discipline her (I'm sure for some slight offense) and she looked at me with those serious "Callender gene big eyes" and said in a voice that sounded like Ursula (you know the sea witch from Little Mermaid...come on now...)

"I put a spwell on yeww..." and then she pointed at me with her little two year old finger.

What! Did my toddler just curse me with some unknown preschool spell...was I about to grow warts and hop around in my dill pickle painted kitchen?

Luckily nothing happened to me but that evening to be on the safe side I walked around and collected all of her fairy wands and then dug a hole in the backyard, buried each one of them and if I had been Catholic I might have outlined her bedroom door in rosary beads.

(But currently being Baptist I instead sent out a prayer request and got a strong team of prayer warriors laying hands over my little one...)

A transformed life

Tonight I witnessed a man - a Chinese man - get baptized.

He has been coming to our Sunday school class for a few months now...studying the bible quietly with one of our teachers/friends at nights...and changing.

He gave his testimony tonight before he was baptized and in it he mentioned that over the last few years he has been through some very stressful situations in life and he often responded to his wife and son with anger. He told how he was searching one night when he wound up at our church and meeting his new friend in the hallway. He opened the conversation with, "What's this all about?" (pointing to the bible)

We soon all discovered that his wife was divorcing him and because of this he would have to return to China. He had been taking care of their son while she worked. Back in China he was a judge but could not practice law here in America. So he could not find work.

Despite the fact that his wife was leaving him, which would force him to return to China and leave his son he didn't respond with hatred. He was a changed man.

He came to accept Christ as his personal savior and learned to love his wife through this pain.

After he was baptized tonight he was driving with his son to the new city his wife was relocating to and helping her move/unpack. Then in a few weeks he will leave for China without a fight. His plan is to go for one year and try to master the English language so he can return and take a special proficiency test so he can work here - hopefully as a lawyer - and win back the affection of his wife or at least be with his son once again.

I am awed at the power of Christ when working in some one's life. It is such a wonderful experience to watch Him transform someone completely. I will be praying for our new friend and brother in the faith as he says, "I have peace with what is happening in my life and know that God is with me and has a plan for me."

My hormone crazy, emotional drama Queen

Sister Girl is a character in herself.

The past two years of her life I have shared colorful stories of her adventures and bumps and bruises and crazy moments in our family. Recently I looked at Nate as we were walking through a parking lot - not clutching sister girl in a body lock to keep from escape - and said, "Wow! We've almost reached that point in our family again where things are calm." We then laughed at how long it had been since we could all walk through a parking lot or skip a nap to play longer somewhere or all somewhat enjoy a movie together. (Not that we are completely there mind you but we can see the light)

Not 48 hours after we said that something happened...I don't quite know what has happened but I have a slight feeling that aliens have abducted our daughter and replaced her with a hormone crazy, emotional drama Queen! I do remember the boys going through some phase (it seems so foggy now) where there were fits and lots of tears - for no reason- but this pales in comparison to ANYTHING I have ever witnessed!

The pictures can shed more light on what I'm talking about (although they were taken awhile back and there was hair pulling involved by a younger cousin).





Do you see the facial expressions? And these photos were taken within 5 seconds of each other!! From sweet angelic (I love you so much) to evil, conspiring (I am up to much mischief and by the way I don't think I like you anymore) to crazy, lunatic, mad woman who is ready to bite your head off (I hate you I hate you I hate you).

Yes, my little sister girl can now go from "I love you so much...and those are beautiful earrings you have on mom...and thanks for buying me sponge-bob bubble bath" to an instant later "RAHHHHHH....I don't like her....She's not my friend....RAHHHHHH...." pull hair...slam feet on floor...bottom lip dragging on the floor...crocodile tears streaming down Snuffalufagus eyelashes.

And I guess that is how it happens. Your once sweet - although a little wild- two year old daughter becomes a 16 year old drama queen who is already keeping a little black notebook of who has wronged her by taking a cracker from her plate at Sunday School.

Let the adventures of female toddler hood begin.

Only 21 days left...

As I approach most summer breaks with the kids a little of excitement mixed with some anxiety overcomes me. Nine weeks of being together at home all day...what will we do? I have my usual camps that I line up in the Spring - cub scout day camp, vbs, a discovery center science camp. Then of course there is swim team which is every day for the month of June. Throw in a planned vacation for a week...a couple of spontaneous trips to my parents house in West Tn. for a week at a time and then we have only a few weeks to fill with impromptu fun.

Only three weeks left of 2011's summer break and I can safely say it has been fun. We've been to lakes, hidden rivers with waterfalls, rock pits, Great-grandmother's barber shop, had tea parties with cousins, got $10 of fun out of a cheap slip and slide for a couple of days, won some ribbons in swim meets, learned to run 2 miles, visited old friends from our past, and even picked blueberries!

My mind is already swirling over what to do the next twenty-one days of our break together before alarm clocks have to be set, lunch boxes have to be packed and homework has to be finished. Enjoy the photos down memory lane - I tried to pick ones that caught the kids enjoying a little of their summer fun together.

June 20, 1998

June 20, 1998

I woke up to the sound of thunder. Surely that is not what I just heard...but it was. I then heard people hurrying outside my bedroom,something was going on. I dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and ran into the living room. My parents were running outside in search of plastic tarps. The baby grand piano was going to get wet.

Once I stepped outside and saw the black sky and heard the thunder echoing in the Curve-Nankipoo countryside I knew there was no mistaking the truth now - it was raining on my wedding day - the wedding day that was to take place outside in the midst of this cloud covered countryside - and the tears came as hard as the rain drops.

That is one of the most vivid memories of my wedding day. Of course it stopped raining that morning and the summer heat rose out of the black soil with a vengenance like it had been trapped one too many days that June month. 'They are going to hate me,' I thought as I envisioned my groomsmen bundled up in their tuxes standing in the flower gardens during the 6:00 heat spell.

"Oh well. I am the bride!" I'm sure I thought (one too many times). Like when I decided it would be beautiful for my bridesmaids to have different colored pastel dresses just like the flowers in my mom's garden they would be posing in front of as I - the white Lilly (I suppose) marched down the make shift aisle to my husband to be. Those ladies were good sports but hey, isn't that what bridesmaids are there for - to entertain the wild hair brain ideas a bride has to make her wedding the most beautiful event in history?


The wedding was in my parents' yard. And I do not over-exaggerate when I say they started preparing for this day months in advance. My mother's flower gardens were in full bloom, the old wooden shed in the backyard had been torn down to its bare bones and draped with stuff I don't even know the name of in anticipation of the D.J. we had heard so much about (but would never recommend to another poor bride again), lattice work had been spray painted a crisp white and placed cleverly in front of the tractor shed opening to hide my father's 'small farm' equipment. My dad had even built the exact replica of a wedding arch that would be draped with fresh flowers I had seen in Martha's bridal magazine. None of this came without hours of hard labor on our part (or our friends and even family that had just gotten off the plane) We were all out there (actually hours before the wedding started) with the staple gun and glue gun and hammer and nails hanging up lights, baskets of fresh cut flowers, bows, and anything else my mom and her team of lady friends could think of to transform that country home to an oasis of love for party goers all over the county and country! It was to be the party of the summer and no one wanted to miss a chance to see the Weeks' house (and my momma's gardens) as well as all my family and Nate's family had flown and driven in for the reunion.

I'm truly not a high maintenance kind of girl, although I do like my massacre and flat iron, so when it came time to get ready for the big event I simply washed my hair (I had been swimming with my friends and cousins earlier) and pulled my hot rolled curls into a simple pony tail. I put my make-up on alongside my two best girlfriends and my sister then climbed into that Cinderella dress (with some assistance).

Lord, I loved that dress!

All that work...and then the time came. In true Weeks fashion there were stressful tears shed before the actual giving away of the bride - and in true Sarah fashion I had a complete melt down after I had married my true love and hugged about 200 people in that Southern heat of June while wearing a 50 pound dress made up mostly of taffeta and belly sucking satin. Thanks to my Aunt Vicki who stripped me of the weight and threw my naked, crying self into my mother's shower while all of my guests danced the night away on the other side of the house I was forced to get a grip. After cooling off and putting on my "going away dress" I was refreshed and ready to join the party again. And that is what it was - cousins dancing barefoot on the grass and high school friends reuniting and comparing lives as the d.j. played music to appease all ages - mostly my parents - and get the people dancing.

Bellies were filled, families were reunited after years of absence, feet grew sore, and later night parting was planned for the young ones in attendance but then it was time for Nate and I to part into the night and begin our travels as husband and wife.

The canoe was strapped to my Camry and the bouquet was thrown. Our bags made it to the car and we waved good-bye. As we pulled onto highway 51 again the tears flowed but this time in front of my sweet 21 year old partner. I was already missing my parents...I was on my own for real this time...I was grown-up...I was married.

Poor Nate! I did eventually stop crying and I did feel better after we pulled into the hotel and opened up the basket of food we hadn't gotten to eat that night because of all the "socializing" we were expected to do. And then the next day we were off on the adventure of our new life to the Ozark mountains to canoe and hide away in a cabin for a week.

13 years later and I still get a dreamy feeling when I see pictures of Nate and I sitting in my parents' front lawn all dressed up. 13 years later and I still get lightheaded when he holds me and tells me I'm beautiful. 13 years later and I still love this man...more then ever!

A tall tale or a simple mistake?

Well, before anymore of you send your application into the boy scouts of America for that hot paying $130,000 a year job that I talked about a few posts ago, let me set the record straight.

I would like to retract my statement in a previous post where I was recalling the big bucks I made right out of college for a nonprofit of all places! It was indeed, as my sister so kindly commented, $30,000 - which I still think was pretty dang good for a 22 year old!
Oh and I got a car - so there- now I'm just trying to make myself feel better for being such an idiot.

But hey, I have the Stanley genes in my blood (that would be my mother's side) and we are known for stretching the truth just a little when it needs some help-if you know what I mean - and sometimes we just don't even realize when we are doing it. Except when a bystander (like my sister) helps set the record straight.

So don't stop donating to the boy scouts but don't apply to work there either- unless you are right out of college and in need of a car and small income.

A special family in need of help

http://thekramerfamilysite.blogspot.com/

I wanted to ask all of you who read my blog to please go and read the Kramer family's blog (link above and on my favorite blog list to the side). She and her husband are leaving in seven days to visit the young boy they will be adopting. He is a special needs child and they are truly walking out on faith and following God's call in their lives to bring him to his forever home here in Murfreesboro with their three other precious children.

If you can help give finanically then do so.

If you can pray for them then do so.

If you can just encourage them through a little note on her blog then do so.

Thank you!

Boy Scouts...lessons learned past and present.

The boys finally completed a week of full on cub scout day camp. It's intense- 8:00am to 3:30pm in the Southern June heat. I was proud of them for making it through each day without complaining. And to make sure we didn't win the parents of the year award we insisted they participate in their swim team practice each day after camp for an hour (don't worry I gave them a snack before they had to leave). =)

I made a point to volunteer one day after hearing a plea for help from those in charge. It was that one day of walking around with 17-7 year old boys shooting bows and arrows and b.b. guns, playing kick ball, and hammering a 'box' (don't quite know it's purpose but hey, a boy can fill a box with just about anything under his bed) that made me walk down memory lane of my own boy scout experience almost 11 years ago. I thought I would share some memories and lessons learned.

I was fresh out of Wesleyan College - a women's liberal arts college in Macon, Georgia. I was also getting married that summer to my sweet heart and best friend back home in the country fields of Curve, TN. (no, literally we got married in a field out by my parents' house in the midst of my mother's flower gardens and a semi-hidden tractor shed). But I did look like Cinderella and I did make my grooms' men wear tuxedos in that 100 degree heat and humidity.

So I needed a job - I had a husband to support now...hee hee! (He was finishing up his degree at MTSU - where he teaches now - and working part time at the airport). We moved into the married student housing on campus - a quaint little two room cinder block apartment on campus. Did I mention I needed a job?

I was overqualified to do some things and under qualified to do most. But then I found it. It was in my field - nonprofit - and it had an outdoorsy type aura about it - I wanted to be a Boy Scouts of America District Executive. I think the title District Executive is what drew me in. It sounded so...so, important as I sat in my cinder block apartment and sipped cold sweet tea out of my new crystal wedding high ball glass and counted pennies in our checking account. Oh, and it paid a lot! Well, a whole $30,000 a year lot - which after making a career out of babysitting for the past four years and free internships I thought I had hit the jack pot.

Little did I realize when I put all my pennies into that scouting basket career would I have to prove my self worthy for the next 3 years. I was the first female D.E. in my metropolitan city of Mufreesboro and to say I was not looked upon favorably by those old, white bearded, belly protruding, too tight uniform wearing scoutmasters would be an understatement of the century.

I grew thick skin - even if I did cry a lot on the way home from meetings in my scout owned Malibu and pray a lot - like my life depended on it- as I boldly marched my new L.L. Bean boots and horrifyingly ugly swamp green uniform shorts wearing body up to those campfires, making sure to greet each one of those old men with a sweet southern 21 year old "hey ya'll" and a firm handshake. (my daddy taught me well in the area of a good handshake)

I am proud to say I won them over. At least to my face they grew to like me. I earned their respect by not acting like I knew what I didn't but by being willing to learn what I needed to and stand up for what I did know. I cared about my volunteers. I believed in the cause we were working for. I figured out the game and I played it well for the short time I was there. It was a two sided game - one made up of those who were making a living off of scouting and the vast amount of money behind it and then there were the volunteers who it was a way of life for and who gave countless hours to the boys they were serving. I respected both groups...but now I have crossed over from the money making side to the serving side.

I am now full circle living back in the district that I earned my first paycheck and livelihood from. It was this same county where I raised thousands of dollars along side judges and doctors as well as cooked peach cobbler in a dutch oven beside red faced, country speaking retired marines. I have taken what I learned from that short stint of professionalism and used it to start other nonprofit organizations, rally volunteers, raise money and train leaders. I have also taken the skills I was challenged to learn from sleeping under the stars, keeping my composure under prejudice and unwarranted pressure, and a love for the unbridled enthusiasm little boys have for the outdoors and used it in my life post-scouting.

As I stand beside my young boys and give the two fingered salute to the flag, sweating in the hot sun as I help them pull back the bow and balance the arrow as it haphazardly flies through the air and bounces off the target, and help teach them to respect others and themselves as a true scout does, I hide in my heart the lessons I learned from the boy scouts eleven years ago as a pioneer woman in the scouting career. I am proud of myself and now I am proud of my boys too.

May has come and gone...

I'm sorry did someone hit me over the head and flip the calendar from April to June?

May is the busiest month of the year for moms with kids in school. It is just simply insane...but I love it! No long narratives this time just a recap of the month of May.

Our family started the warmer month off with our first family camping trip (one that included sister girl). I was honestly very nervous about the whole sleeping in a tent together but it was great! Everyone had a wonderful time...got extremely dirty...and we found our new favorite camping/hiking/water hole site only an hour away from the 'boro.




While cupcakes were being eaten, publishing parties being thrown, buses were loading us up for field trips left and right my sweet husband went on a mission trip to Namur, Belgium (see previous blog post). I survived the week alone - well not really alone - I truly couldn't have survived all the activities at the boys' school without the help of my parents, Nate's parents and then my friend and partner in crime! The best part was when Nate returned...with a box of the best (and probably most expensive) chocolates ever!!! I know I ate 3/4th of the box within three days!!
But I deserved it right?





The boys successfully finished first and third grade. They really enjoyed their teachers and breezed through the year with no drama and little tears. I was so appreciative of their teachers this year!





A celebrated tradition we now have with cub scouts is placing flags at the Stones River Battleground in preparation for Memorial Day.




The end of May and final class parties means one thing for the Callender family...vacation. We seemed to have set upon a trend of every other year going to the beach so this falling on our off year we were invited to the East TN. mountains with Nate's family (parents and two sisters). We stayed in a three story cabin fully furnished with video arcade, pool table, hot tub and flat screen t.v. in every room. It was a low key week - a little swimming in the pool, aquarium in Gatlinburg, some river play, put-put, a few date nights (thanks to Nanny and Papa)and lots of eating! The highlight of the trip I think for the kids (and the biggest kid - their dad) was when we were playing in the river and what we thought was a hell binder salamander about two feet long came crawling by Nate's feet. Yes, you can imagine what happened after that...the chase was on. Each child was able to touch it and Nate tried his hardest to catch the thing but to no avail. But he was rewarded for his persistence when he caught a snake (yes I said snake) a little further down the river. Don't worry...he has been trained through the "Crocodile hunter and Bear Grylls do it yourself videos". It was fun for everyone to hang out together for that long since it doesn't happen to often anymore, especially with Aunt Hannah who moved so far away to teach math at a university. (yes, two math nerds in one family - you should hear how they talk to each other about equations and never ending formulas)









Now we are home. Don't roll your eyes but it hasn't even been five hours since we were met in the driveway by those God forsaken Middle TN. ear piercing cicadas and we are unpacked, dirty clothes washed and folded, van vacuumed, plants outside thoroughly hydrated after I neglected them for a week, and children put in bed!

Now to conquer June!

Poor Ralph...

"After all that we've been through...I will make it up to you...I promise to. And after all that's been said and done...you're just the part of me I can't let go! After all that we've been through...I will make it up to you...I promise to. ohhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhh oooohhhhhhhhhh violins..... You're going to be the lucky one....piano solo........(tears at this point remembering the puffy sleeves of long gone prom dresses, and pink died satin high heel shoes, oh yes, and big bangs and wings...)
Now drum interlude and some horns.....

"Hard to say I'm sorry" by Chicago.

You guessed it - the Karate Kid was kicked off Dancing with the Stars. I had been rooting for him since the first night that he stole the show and came in first. His freakishly teeny bopper face just reminded me of those posters I had stuck up on my cotton candy pink striped bedroom wall all through high school. I was in love with the Karate Kid - so of course it made me sad that he actually wanted to win that stupid contest because he called himself "the underdog" in life. I guess a one hit wonder (well he did go on to make Karate Kid II and God forbid I remind you of Karate Kid III)always has those lost dreams to live with.

So as I sit here in my kitchen and miss my husband very, very much, I listen to the Chicago Pandora station and make pasta salad for my son's first grade Author's luncheon at school tomorrow and get teary eyed that Ralph truly has gotten old (although his face hasn't aged a day over 16)and well that he just isn't that good of a dancer.

Wild and wooly!

I did make my kids clean their bathroom on Sunday morning despite Eli persisently telling me that the toothpaste left in the sink was not his b/c he always cleaned out his spit when done brushing. (I couldn't argue with that but handed him the lysol anyway!)

I managed to juggle three kids and two parents (well, I didn't actually juggle my parents they more juggled my three kids and well me) on a Saturday marathon of soccer games and complete landscaping at the boys' school. I could kick myself for not taking a picture of sister girl - you all would have loved it! Picture this...pouring down rain, covered in mud and mulch, red berry juice smeared across her cheeks (thanks to big brother Eli), barefoot and lost pony tail holders (hair sticking out in all directions), soaking wet...and loving every minute of her wild freedom while the grown ups worked! So in love with my free spirited wild daughter!

My mother survived her first full out public temper tantrum from a grandchild. YOu would think after four previous grandchildren she would be prepared for it but I think nothing can prepare you for sister girl...I bravely (well ignorantly) agreed to shop at Tuesday Mornings with my mother today b/c we were all going a little crazy in the house. It didn't take 5 minutes before our young companion, determined to roam free in the store, voiced her opposition to holding an adult hand, being carried, or for goodness sakes riding in a cart. I went into the survival mode and don't remember much of what was going on around me other than the echoing screeches of sister girl's vocal chords richocheting in my eardrums and the legs and arms just flying around me. I used my latest accomplishment (boot camp arm muscles) to strong arm that same free spirited wild daughter that I forementioned being in love with and high tailed it out of the store...through the parking lot...and quickly onto the main street only looking up once to see if a police officer had been summoned.
My mother's only words once she was able to take a breath (after she walked sheepishly ten steps behind me out of the store) was "I have never seen a child throw a fit like that." I quietly glared in the rear view mirror at sister girl as she (I swear) proudly cut her eyes at me. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH HER!!!!
(I tell you what I'm going to do...never go back to Tuesday Mornings again!) =)

Random thoughts as I await a long week ahead of me...

I am staring down the next eight days of being without my husband while he goes on a mission's trip to Belgium. I am excited that he will get to spend time encouraging our sweet friends the Kea family and help them out for awhile (just a little jealous that I can't give Elizabeth a great big hug, drink coffee and stay up all hours of the night chatting like old times).

- And if any crazy people are reading this post please note my parents (big scary looking father included - hey Dad - are coming for part of the time) so don't even think about it!!

Random thoughts while my husband nervously restraightens our dishwasher beside me instead of packing right now...

Elizabeth has started taking her diaper off again at night so that her bed is wet during the middle of the night and then usually in the morning too. We have thought about getting a video recorder hooked to her bed to see just how she is doing this but then again there is always duct tape.

Eli is constantly worrying over me these days - "mom, is the half price medium sonic drink too expensive b/c you can get me a small."

Ian doesn't seem to comprehend indecent exposure and for some reason doesn't see the problem with wearing his pants unbuttoned and unzipped to school since he has trouble fastening them if he has to go to the bathroom ----I blame this on his father and his need to walk around freely in his whitey tighties at night!

I made the mistake of asking questions in a conversation with three homeschool moms at church tonight when one of them mentioned her children doing chores each day. Before I realized it I had admitted that 1. my children do not do regular chores (I realize at this point I am ruining them) and 2. I do not homeschool therefor I am already ruining my children (no offense to those precious friends out there who homeschool -- you guys just make it so hard for us outsourcing school moms to feel adequate sometimes!!!) and then mistake 3. When I mentioned my disapointment in myself over not making the boys do daily chores (excuse given that there is just not enough time to come home from school, play, do homework eat then do sports - church - piano - scouts) my sweet and listening husband chimed in that we really should get on that and make up a list for them b/c he bets they would do it if they wanted to go outside and play. ughhhhhh....does mothering ever get easier? Seriously?

I do plan on watching a lot of girly movies while Nate is gone (Dad I hope you don't mind) and eating lots of cereal and hot dogs and mac-n-cheese for supper...oh, and washing crib sheets and scooping out poop from the tub- I've got to tell you a funny about this...this is so my life...Elizabeth is playing in the tub after I've washed her and I'm in the kitchen hurring Ian through a late night snack after we have walked in from church while telling Eli to put up his laundry (yes, I have the bathroom door open so I can hear if sister girl bunks her head and goes under mind you!) while Nate is outside mowing (don't ask)...and when the boys and I go in the bathroom to brush teeth what do we find? A sweet angelic face looking up at us with a kitchen plastic bowl on the side of the tub holding a nice, long poop! Yes, she not only pooped in the tub but she managed to catch it and place it in the bowl and balance it on the side for me! How kind...that was my bedtime routine tonight.

Husband has finished rearranging the tupperware in the dishwasher (I obviously didn't do it right) and is now packing but needs some advice...I will go support!

Here's to popping our bubbles

This has been an exhausting week. A challenging week. A week that took me out of my comfort zone and plopped me right smack in the middle of confrontation. But it also taught me something.

I recently took on a volunteer role. I have been thrilled to get involved in this intimate way. I tend to be a stand back and not get in the way kind of person UNLESS I am in charge of something. THEN...I find the courage to step up and step out of my comfort zone. The past few weeks have allowed me to do that and I have had so much fun amidst the stress and business of planning and working.

But then it happened. When you step out of your comfort zone and step into the public eye you often step on some one's toes. And I did some stepping this week.

There is no point to go into detail of what or who it was about. Just simply a misinterpretation of something said or a look given between two people who don't know each other well and then feathers were ruffled.

I hate ruffling feathers. Especially when the feathers I ruffle turn around and have a scary and intimidating attitude.

But I have learned to practice what I preach to my children. Forgive when you are wronged. Ask forgiveness when you hurt someone else (even if you didn't do it on purpose) and then let it go. The letting go is the hard part. But I managed to somewhat do it. And so now that the week is over and we have made our peace and all seems to be behind us (other than the memory of those scary ruffled feathers coming down my throat) I can successfully say I have survived.

I was talking to a friend about all the goings and comings of the week's activities and we both agreed that sometimes we wish we could just stay in our own little bubble. That way we wouldn't have to interact with scary people or step on any toes (unintentionally) and all would be well. But we both knew that this isn't how we are to live our lives.

To do good we must risk getting hurt. To make change we must risk upsetting those who might not agree. To make a difference we must risk putting a bulls eye on our chest for others to take a shot at. But if we didn't risk what would we have to show for ourselves other than our little bubble?

Here's to popping our bubbles!

Just a little catching up...

It has been too long since I sat down and typed on this blog. I will blame it on the fact that my computer and secret cyber BFF/counselor died a slow and painful death on me. But now I have a new face to stare at that is a little larger and shiny black rather than all glass and silver looking. I'm getting used to him but seeing how he still doesn't contain half the stuff I need from my old BFF I don't use him very often. (changing over computers is a very slow process when depending on your husband who is grading papers, taking two boys to soccer/scouts and piano for me as well as laying a new bathroom floor and fixing a flooded toilet so we don't have to pay the $1000 it would have cost to get a real Mr. fix it - which in turn is how we paid for my new Cyber BFF I'm staring at now)

Don't even ask what I do all day while my wonderful husband is doing all that...psttt...don't do it! =)

Last I wrote was Spring Break - seriously? Now it is Easter weekend...by far my favorite spiritual holiday (yes, it even beats out Christmas).

What has been going on for any nosey or just interested/caring long distance friends and relatives?

The boys' finished a year of cub scouts. And I can now proudly say I have successfully gone from professional scout executive to behind the scenes "Ghost Leader" den mom! It was a learning experience for Nate and I - too bad I want to continue with the experience and the face/body to our leadership duo doesn't next year. I'm still working on him. I am proud of Ian for completing Tiger Cubs and Eli his Bear badge.




Eli turned ten...we celebrated by having a sweet little group of friends come spend the night. He has remained friends with these guys since he was 4-5 years old (preschool for half of them then kindergarten). Sadly, most of them have changed schools but we still try very hard to keep their friendships strong. I just had to add the picture of them all (minus Braden) from kindergarten before performing in the talent show. They look like teenagers now it blows my mind! In short...I am more proud of this kid then I could ever put into words. The fears he has overcome through the years of shyness and anxiety and the gentleman he has become now is overwhelming. He is such a great kid I truly can't wait to watch him grow up to be a man!




For me...I reluctantly at first but now very enthusiastically have taken on the V.P. position at the boys' school's Parent Teacher Club. I never thought I'd be "one of those moms" but I am actually loving it. I recently told my sister I think when one is stagnant in their life in terms of activities or outside responsibilities to fill one's mind (besides potty training, finger painting, grocery shopping and cleaning the house) one can become a little "crazy". (well...I used other words to describe my mental state but I will spare you all.)

It has proven good for me to have an official job to do now. I like feeling somewhat important even if it is just being in charge of recruiting volunteers for tasks, finding a good deal on flowers for all the staff during teacher appreciation week and meeting with a landscaper to coordinate a school-wide cleanup/beautification project. It is a part time job that doesn't pay...but it seems to be keeping my mind from having the "crazies".


We had a wonderful Easter weekend. Nate's grandmother came to stay with us along with her husband Max who we all love. She has more energy and spirit than anyone I have EVER met! I love being around her.

Discovery Center vacationing

I feel like I'm on vacation right now. I'm at the "discovery center" museum in town with three big boys and no sister girl!

I'm one of "those" moms sitting in a chair by herself with a starbucks white chocolate mocha-one squirt peppermint- and tapping away on her I phone. Oh and with a smug smile on her face (ok actually I'm not smiling but I'm shouting for joy in my head)

Sister girl is napping at home with sweet daddy who came home early to grade papers (I promised him she would stay asleep-oh wait I forgot to give her that benadryl).

Watch dog Eli is hovering over the younger boys and looking out for "suspicious looking adults" so I have no worries!

I'm realizing some things as I people watch and over dose on caffeine-
1. Never underestimate the power a good fitting bra has on your body.
2. Tanning beds in winter on anyone older than 25 is a bad thing!
3. Mothers with little kids in a crowded museum can't stand the sight of mothers with big independent children(ok that was my own thought)
4. No matter how many fun things there are to "discover" in a museum boys will always revert back to playing spies and chasing each other.
5. I miss sister girl! What can I say? :)

I've gone mental...

Well, my computer is slowly crashing - that is lay terms - actually my husband would say the "graphics processor is not functioning properly or he has said, "Sarah the brain of the computer is broken". I liked the second explanation better. All I really heard though was "...at least $700 or more to replace a small part....probably better to buy new computer...won't have t.v. on big screen like this one...more than likely a lap top..." I just started wallowing in self-pity after that. I love my computer - it's a huge big old flat screen hooked to the wall that I watch t.v. on even Netflix on... gall- lee...I can even DVR Sesame street on it and let sister girl watch it whenever i need to lock her down in her high chair with some gold fish and use the bathroom for crying out loud!

So...I've just been out of sync this week. Not to mention it is Spring Break and half the world is traveling to Atlanta, Memphis, the beach or some other cool city that they can't resist posting all over Face book about. I don't sound the least bit jealous do I? My sweet husband of course has to work because his lovely university had Spring Break when it was still snowing outside!!!!!

I actually had a reason for blogging tonight - didn't mean to get on the whining mat but while I'm here...just kidding.

My sweet Eli got baptized Sunday night. I wanted to post about that with wonderful pictures (thanks to his dad who was hovering over the 'bathtub' of water to get good pictures) (Baptist want to make sure you are completely washed away of sin - no sprinkling around these here parts). But back to paragraph one and you will see my computer won't let me do that high tech procedure of downloading pictures. It is being nice to me right now by allowing me to type! I know you are watching me "Hal" through that big camera on the screen that is pointed at me right now!

I was actually going to post about 'obsessing'. Now that I'm obsessing over how long this post already is I don't know if I want to continue but the fact is I'm obsessing over getting it off my chest through my usual blog therapy so I must try.

Do you ever obsess over things? Obsess over someone being 'rude' to you? Obsess over a friend blowing you off? Obsess over a look you swear that girl in the gym gave you? Obsess over forgetting someone's birthday? Obsess over being short with a family member? I have a bad problem of trying to get in other people's heads and figure out what they are thinking and then obsessing over the different scenarios.

My husband likes to remind me I'm crazy and that he can't even figure me out so I don't know why I'm trying to figure myself out. Today I actually had the idea that maybe I'm just mental - seriously, like maybe I have schizophrenia ("Hal, would you please stop laughing at me while I'm trying to read the 20' size font you are making me type with right now!!!!) No, really did I say I might be schizophrenic?

I was just wondering (out loud into cyber-world) if I was the only person who did this. I understand (again from my sane husband who doesn't let much bother him) that this is very unhealthy and I need to "let it go". So, as I see that people read my blog from all over the country but I have no idea who they are or what they think of me (other than the fact that I'm a slightly insane mother of what feels like 100 kids who talks to herself as therapy on a computer at night) I wonder if I'm the only one who obsesses.

Now...I don't mean obsess over cleaning or hoarding or germs - those type of people really get on my nerves. Is it just the coolest thing now to say "I'm obsessed with germs" as if you are branding yourself cleaner than the rest of us normal but dirty people? I mean really is it that bad that my children eat food off the floor (30 mt. rule in this house folks) or that I forget to make them wash their hands with the bottle of sanitizer I should have been carrying with me to the park after they touched all those germs on the playground and are about to eat the picnic lunch I brought. No! I'm talking about a different kind of obsessing.

Where you replay the scenario again and again like a trained CSI agent reviewing everyone's facial expressions and grunts or laughs, listening to each person's comments to see what tone they used so you can REALLY tell what they MEANT to say.

Yes, after writing that I do declare myself mental. I've got to learn to get over it. Okay, I think "Hal" just sent a copy of this post to the local police station. I must go now; I can hear the sirens coming down my street now to get me with a straight jacket.

(Hal is the computer on movie "2001 Space Odyssey" that takes over the ship in case you really thought I was talking to my make believe friend in this screwed up computer)

The waiting place

I'm in a weird place right now...the waiting place. And I don't like it one bit!

Growing up I was always waiting for the next thing. Couldn't wait to turn 13. Then it was 16. Then it was 18. Then couldn't wait to graduate high school...go to college...find my next boyfriend...graduate from college...get married...land the perfect job...have baby number one...move out of an apartment...have baby number two...not be poor (still waiting on that one - ha ha)...buy our first house...for my boys to get older...for some freedom from chasing toddlers...to have a baby girl...for little ones to heal from horrible sicknesses....

This isn't to say I'm not a content person. I actually really like being content where I am as long as there isn't anything on my mind that I think I should be waiting for. (that was meant as a joke)

I have been in a content state for awhile but lately I have found myself once again in a state of waiting for the next thing.

I am waiting for my house to sell. I am waiting for sister girl to not be two and stop peeing in her clothes only when we are in a nice restaurant surrounded by strangers. I am waiting for my husband to finish his Doctorate degree, which finally he is soooo close to the end I can see the light! I am waiting now for news on a project that I have devoted my free time to working on for the past eight months. I am waiting to see if I should put sister girl in preschool next year as a three year old and land the perfect part-time job or keep her at home one more year with me and not work. I am waiting for a new volunteer job I have taken on to start - and all the fear and anxiety that goes along with this new position is waiting for me!

So I go from content and not 'wanting' anything to all of a sudden in a place where God is making me look at my day and be purposeful about where I let my mind wander. Do I spend countless minutes, hours, thinking about all of these things and growing anxious over them or do I rest in the time I have and look at what I am not waiting on right then. All of these things I am "waiting" on are actually things I just really "want" and wouldn't necessarily bring me any more happiness in life than I already have.

So, in this waiting period I am trying very hard to discipline myself to not get caught up in the act of waiting and wanting what I have no control over and just live contently in the moment.

"Waiting for Superman"

Today my boys' principal showed the documentary "Waiting for Superman" for parents to come watch together and then have a discussion with our teachers. I had seen the movie a few weeks ago and was very moved by its material. It was even more eye opening to watch a second time and listen to educators share their opinions and answer our (parents) questions about the educational crisis in America.

The most important thing I gained out of the experience was a realization that my family is in the small percentage of very fortunate American families who are able to send their children to a wonderful school with excellent teachers. It made me so sad though to watch the statistics and listen to the stories of so many families around our country who don't have that option to choose a 'better' school then they might be zoned for.

My boys don't go to a private, magnet or charter school but they were able to get into a 'university' school that is based on your child's birthday on a list. And we made a decision for our oldest to repeat kindergarten to get into the school like half the other kids in the school. We made that choice based on other things about our son but knowing that the advantages he would have at the small school made it worth the decision to repeat a year in the end. I understand after watching the movie that MOST children don't have a chance to get into one of these type schools and so they are stuck with their failing school.

It was very interesting to hear our teachers' perspectives on tenure, "bad teachers", teaching in high risk/inner city schools, state regulations/legislation on educators, etc. But after much discussion on our thoughts about the documentary we pretty much all agreed that it isn't really the teachers' fault in the end...its' parents/society that has gotten us in this mess.

The schools that do so well? They are the ones that have 100% parental participation. The parents are held accountable for being involved both at home with their children but also at school. There is expected communication between the teacher and parents, homework is expected to be completed, parents are in the school volunteering or helping out with extra programs or at meetings with teachers.

But at public schools, which is where my kids attend, you can't do that. You can't make the parents get involved. You can't hold the parents responsible for reading to their children or meeting their teachers or coming to a PTO meeting. And so it is left up to our teachers to take what they get each morning with all 20 or more children and start from there...make sure they are fed, clothed, have slept, deal with their trauma from home, dysfunctional tendencies, family dramas, fears, then start teaching these kids something. It is overwhelming for them. I have a lot more sympathy for them now.

Teaching isn't the same career choice that it once was. It isn't the 'easy' family friendly profession you choose so you can have Christmas and Summer breaks and go home at 3:30. These professionals have more paperwork, test scores, data, professional development training throughout the year and into the summer, as well as the technology advances they must keep up with and use in their classrooms then ever before.

And yes, just like the documentary, there are BAD teachers. And they are to blame for A LOT of students' failure in our schools! I had a few bad teachers in my own high school and know how tenure kept them from being touched...along with a principal who didn't pursue making them do anything! But there are two sides to this debate and many ways to look at the mess our educational system is in.

It is always stimulating to learn and be a part of a discussion where ideas are shared and views are challenged. And I am very, very appreciative and blessed to have my family at a good school I now realize more than ever.

I challenge you to watch the documentary...perhaps watch it with a group of fellow parents and educators for a lively discussion afterwards. We need to have a voice in our children's future and our voices won't be heard or carry any weight unless we know what we are fighting for.