I've gone mental...

Well, my computer is slowly crashing - that is lay terms - actually my husband would say the "graphics processor is not functioning properly or he has said, "Sarah the brain of the computer is broken". I liked the second explanation better. All I really heard though was "...at least $700 or more to replace a small part....probably better to buy new computer...won't have t.v. on big screen like this one...more than likely a lap top..." I just started wallowing in self-pity after that. I love my computer - it's a huge big old flat screen hooked to the wall that I watch t.v. on even Netflix on... gall- lee...I can even DVR Sesame street on it and let sister girl watch it whenever i need to lock her down in her high chair with some gold fish and use the bathroom for crying out loud!

So...I've just been out of sync this week. Not to mention it is Spring Break and half the world is traveling to Atlanta, Memphis, the beach or some other cool city that they can't resist posting all over Face book about. I don't sound the least bit jealous do I? My sweet husband of course has to work because his lovely university had Spring Break when it was still snowing outside!!!!!

I actually had a reason for blogging tonight - didn't mean to get on the whining mat but while I'm here...just kidding.

My sweet Eli got baptized Sunday night. I wanted to post about that with wonderful pictures (thanks to his dad who was hovering over the 'bathtub' of water to get good pictures) (Baptist want to make sure you are completely washed away of sin - no sprinkling around these here parts). But back to paragraph one and you will see my computer won't let me do that high tech procedure of downloading pictures. It is being nice to me right now by allowing me to type! I know you are watching me "Hal" through that big camera on the screen that is pointed at me right now!

I was actually going to post about 'obsessing'. Now that I'm obsessing over how long this post already is I don't know if I want to continue but the fact is I'm obsessing over getting it off my chest through my usual blog therapy so I must try.

Do you ever obsess over things? Obsess over someone being 'rude' to you? Obsess over a friend blowing you off? Obsess over a look you swear that girl in the gym gave you? Obsess over forgetting someone's birthday? Obsess over being short with a family member? I have a bad problem of trying to get in other people's heads and figure out what they are thinking and then obsessing over the different scenarios.

My husband likes to remind me I'm crazy and that he can't even figure me out so I don't know why I'm trying to figure myself out. Today I actually had the idea that maybe I'm just mental - seriously, like maybe I have schizophrenia ("Hal, would you please stop laughing at me while I'm trying to read the 20' size font you are making me type with right now!!!!) No, really did I say I might be schizophrenic?

I was just wondering (out loud into cyber-world) if I was the only person who did this. I understand (again from my sane husband who doesn't let much bother him) that this is very unhealthy and I need to "let it go". So, as I see that people read my blog from all over the country but I have no idea who they are or what they think of me (other than the fact that I'm a slightly insane mother of what feels like 100 kids who talks to herself as therapy on a computer at night) I wonder if I'm the only one who obsesses.

Now...I don't mean obsess over cleaning or hoarding or germs - those type of people really get on my nerves. Is it just the coolest thing now to say "I'm obsessed with germs" as if you are branding yourself cleaner than the rest of us normal but dirty people? I mean really is it that bad that my children eat food off the floor (30 mt. rule in this house folks) or that I forget to make them wash their hands with the bottle of sanitizer I should have been carrying with me to the park after they touched all those germs on the playground and are about to eat the picnic lunch I brought. No! I'm talking about a different kind of obsessing.

Where you replay the scenario again and again like a trained CSI agent reviewing everyone's facial expressions and grunts or laughs, listening to each person's comments to see what tone they used so you can REALLY tell what they MEANT to say.

Yes, after writing that I do declare myself mental. I've got to learn to get over it. Okay, I think "Hal" just sent a copy of this post to the local police station. I must go now; I can hear the sirens coming down my street now to get me with a straight jacket.

(Hal is the computer on movie "2001 Space Odyssey" that takes over the ship in case you really thought I was talking to my make believe friend in this screwed up computer)