"The little house that wouldn't sell"

You know...like "the little engine that wouldn't run"...get it? Sorry, I'm getting into preschool mode so bear with me.

It has been nine months. Wow, that's like carrying a baby. I never thought about it like that but for goodness sakes I've been carrying this dang house around on my shoulders for the past nine months but it didn't birth into a new, larger, more spacious house for my troubles. No...it just fell off my shoulders and allowed me a break - a break to step back and look at it from a new perspective. And it has changed - well my perspective has changed.

This will be hard for some of you to understand depending on your own financial living and your own desires of what you want out of life and for your family. We all don't row in the same boat as we travel down the path of life but we are all going the same route so to speak.

I so wanted to row in a bigger boat. I deserved it didn't I? I have three kids now and I've lived in this house for five years..."everyone" else has bigger houses so why can't I?

I managed to convince my very skeptical husband (who is in the heat of working on his dissertation for his PhD and trying to secure tenure at the university - not a very stable time for the man in my life) to jump on the realty bandwagon and "just give it a try for a few months" before we were both caught up in the whole mess of real estate and selfish desires. I see now why our country is in such a mess.

But wait a minute...let me explain...because I'm being very vague as I try to process my thoughts while writing to strangers/friends in cyberspace. My goal was to find a deal - something bigger that wasn't too much more - but realistically you can't get bigger without paying more and I sure was trying to fool myself (and my husband) into thinking we could.

All that to say - no one offered to buy our house. We had the most viewed house of any property my realtor has ever had. We showed our home over 40 times in nine months. I should have bought stock in Lysol for crying out loud! (I learned to clean my entire house very fast and very good) But no takers. Why didn't it sell? Well, goodness ask any realtor and they'll tell you why...

* priced too high
* needs a bonus room
* And the most precise answer of all - there are so many dag gum houses out there to buy in our market why would they buy ours when they can get a foreclosed house dirt cheap or a new one sitting there with the builder giving it away practically.

My thoughts are finally positive after I humbly and with a bit of wounded pride took down the sign in the front yard. I don't feel like I lost or that I gave up...I know that we will sell the house in a few years but right now I am actually content again.

Ian asked me one day after taking the sign down, "Mom, why did you want to sell the house again?" After I hit my head on the steering wheel and bit my lip I replied, "Well, Ian because mommy thought you and Eli needed more room." Ian's reply, "Oh...we are okay. I like our house." Enough said...

So, now I can sit back in my very clean and updated house and look at my beautiful family photos again, sit on my soft rug again, put my books back on my bookshelf in my bedroom again, and enjoy hanging out with my kids again - instead of yelling at them, "hurry up, we have two hours to clean the house and get out...."

And my big future plans...they totally were born out of carrying this house for the past nine months - God has a plan for each of us - I spent the past nine months fighting against His will (and knew it the whole time) but He is patient and His timing is awesome.