I had three years before life returned to normal...

Three years ago in October I told myself these very words, "Sarah (I like to call myself by name - it feels more personal)you have three years to get through this and after that your life will return to what you know as normal!"

Yep...three years of starting over with the baby thing. Leaky boobs, sleepless nights, building arm muscles from toting a baby carrier then a toddler. Three years of rocking, soothing, feeding another person at the table, not talking to your friends at restaurants, buckling car seats, bathing, buying diapers. Three years of self-sacrifice! You can do this!

And I have!

Sister Girl is now 3! And I am patting myself on the back and taking a sigh of relief. It has been quite fun, challenging, exciting, dramatic and scary!

But now life is calming down. I have officially changed my last poopy diaper (from a child I birthed that is); no more feeding children (although you will still find me on occasion shoving food down Elizabeth's mouth); I can sit at a restaurant with friends and have a conversation (even if there will be an inch of chips crushed under our feet and a few staring customers); I can have wonderful conversations with all three of my children now (including "my left ear hurts!" - always a joy to know).

So to celebrate this milestone in the Callender household we allowed Sister Girl a real Princess birthday party. And thanks to my mom who swooped in on a work related trip to Nashville I had motivation to decorate over the top and plenty of extra party favors (you gotta love grandparents!).

And this is what happened...






Short and sweet - packed full of "preschool" games (Pin the crown on the Princess, Prince - Prince - Princess (duck, duck, goose), Pass the Glass slipper, and hide and go seek the missing royal items). All the little princesses had a wonderful time and Elizabeth only screamed at one child when she tried to take her present away after opening it.

Happy Birthday to my sweet Sister Girl! It has been quite a ride the last 3 years and I look forward to many more...

The countdown begins

December is fast approaching...and no that doesn't mean a countdown to Christmas (although delightful as it is) but rather a countdown to when I'm over the hill...over the bump rather...(okay, all those friends of mine who are older just go ahead and roll your eyes now)the bump of 35.

Yes, I'm one of those women who contrary to popular belief couldn't wait to be older. I have always longed for the next big birthday whether it was 10 (2 digits), 13 (teenager), 16 (could drive), 18 (well, yes I could go to Century 21- the night club in the middle of the cotton fields of West Tn.- good times, good times) and then I'm sorry to say 21 for obvious reasons. Then I graduated college and got married and not long after had a baby so I couldn't wait to be 30 so I was no longer considered "young". Once 30 came and went I looked forward to turning 35 b/c then I wasn't lumped with the "young 30 year olds" but rather could be in the mature and wise category (quit laughing at me)!

But now all that is over...I'm at the top of this tall roller coaster that I have been trying to reach for so long and I see the clouds and I see miles and miles of land stretched out before me but wait...I...have...to...start...falling...down...the hill! (oh my goodness this sounds so dramatic - y'all know I'm chuckling to myself as I write this).

What will happen as I race down this roller coaster?

And then I realized I will just have to climb yet another steep hill- full of more adventures. I now have 3 kids who can use the bathroom by themselves, eat by themselves, almost brush their teeth and hair by themselves-yes, my 8 year old still needs assistance =). I am for the first time planning for my future and what I want to do with my life beyond mothering. I am facing this next birthday and the next five years as a time I will truly be in the running for a new me.

When will I reach the top of this next big hill on the roller coaster? 40! You got it! But hopefully as I'm dramatically crying over starting a new decade in life I will be finishing college with a new degree and the beginning of a new career - I will have a son in high school learning to drive and God forbid dating...I will have another one in Jr. High and my sweet sister girl will be settled into elementary school.

We had our first night of a college host family with two young men from Nate's department who came over. I cooked everything I could find in my freezer and threw in a homemade apple pie and gallon of milk and nervously waited for them to arrive with my rug rats running around the house and finishing up homework.

Of course they were the cutest young men - looked like both of them stepped out of a GQ magazine but boy were they young. When I asked what year they graduated from high school the more talkative one said "last year!" all proud of himself and the other boldly stated "2008...I'm an old man" - oh dear me...I'm so old I thought as I chuckled out loud.

They called me ma'am and complimented my cooking while they talked about air planes with Nate and played video games with the boys (and sister girl somehow ended up shirtless and dancing around the living room...blowing kisses to them when they walked out the door - I better keep my eye on that one). I realized that yep, I'm older now. I'm now where I so longed to be for so many years of my life.

I am mature (although I admit there is always more maturing one can go through) - I am slowly gaining wisdom - I am experienced in the ups and downs of life - I am at a place where I can sit back and love on my family but have enough life under my belt to partner with Nate and love on some strangers who might just need a little extra attention in their own lives.

And even though I'm called Ma'am, I have about 43 wrinkles around my eyes when I smile real big, I don't get carded when I buy a bottle of wine and I'm staring down 40...I guess I kind of like it.

Actions speak louder then words

I'm running like crazy around here...studying (I am half way through the class from H*LL and I have an A!!!); baking 4 dozen cupcakes for Fall Festival; teaching 3 year olds about cowboys, rattlesnakes and prairie dogs; raising a 10 year old boy who wants to shower all the time, an 8 year old boy who likes to tell me my breath stinks when I kiss him good night, and a soon to be 3 year old "princess" who threw my first ever experienced Wal-Mart Holy Terror Tantrum (as in..."I want a BARBEEEEE" all the way through Wally World out to the van and continuing to our house 15 minutes later where I finally let out my breath and beat...I mean taught sister girl that Momma Don't Put Up With That Kind Of Mess!) I am smiling now don't worry about me...

But amongst all of this we in the Callender household have learned a very real lesson in life and love and compassion---



My husband shaved his wonderful head of hair because of this sweet little ten year old boy, Preston. Preston is on Nate's soccer team and he is fighting Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He is currently going through chemo but yet still wants to play soccer each Saturday. And when his hair started to fall out and his mother told Nate about Preston's anxiety over being around the other boys on the team well you know what my husband said.

It was the night before the game when Preston would show up with his shaved head (because in deed his hair was starting to fall out) and Nate went out into the back yard and started buzzing it off. I joined him with a mirror and some extra batteries and we had fun making Mohawks and taking pictures before it all came off.

The boys were a little shocked to say the least but Sister Girl thought it was hilarious. Preston walked up to Nate the next morning and said, "You look funny!" And then the next week he had made (yes, sewn himself) Nate a soccer hat. (He's sewing them for other cancer patients that are in the hospital!)

This has taught our family a lot about compassion - it's not always enough to use words but at times actions speak a lot louder. Preston's dad died last year of cancer...Nate's actions have spoken pretty loud and clear. We are all praying for this sweet little boy with a heart of gold and the will power of a super hero!

I almost forgot I had a blog...

Wow, I almost forgot I had a blog...

Life is a little busy these days to say the least but it's Fall Break and I have a house full of boys running around at 7:30 in the morning (oh and Elizabeth chasing all of them)so I better take advantage of the few minutes I'm sitting here.

My crazy big news that I long ago posted was...I had an "AWE HAH" moment (yes, I almost failed spelling class not to mention phonics 101)this summer while sitting at a Sounds baseball game next to a new friend who could be my mother and has been a nurse her whole life - she now teaches in the nursing program at MTSU. During that evening I decided that is exactly what I was supposed to pursue - a degree in nursing - it just made sense - I could work part time while the kids were little, make a lot of money, and feel like I was doing something to help others. The best part is I keep thinking about all the times I screwed up with Elizabeth during her crazy emergencies over the years where I literally freaked and didn't know what to do with her...if I was a nurse I wouldn't do that!!!!

And I get all excited picturing myself traveling when I'm older to do mission work as a nurse and helping others with my new found talent/skill! It's just so exciting I want to run buy a nurses hat at the Halloween store and walk around checking every one's temperature and blood pressure! Someone please...give me a needle! =)

But it is a huge elephant to chew up so you know what I'm going to say...I will be taking one bight at a time - starting with Statistics!

Before I could talk myself out of it I went and signed up for Elementary Statistics on line - yes, I'm teaching myself something I don't know anything about! Well, actually if that was the case I would have already failed but Nate (who is the Stat's king!)is teaching me each night around 9:00pm! To say I hate this class would be an understatement but it is what it is and yes, I'm striving for an A! =)

I have just a few classes to take that I didn't with my sweet and kind Communication's degree oh, 13 years ago so I'll be focusing on that the next two years. I plan on applying to MTSU's nursing program when Elizabeth is 5. It is a 5 semester full time program and I will graduate with a BS in Nursing. Wow! I'm so excited!!! I'm already thinking about what cute outfits I will need to buy so I can jaywalk across TN. Blvd. with the other cool students and make all the mini-van soccer moms crazy with rage as they slam on their brakes so as not to hit me! =)
(I have issues with rage over 20 year old, boot/jegging wearing jaywalkers in front of my kids' school - FYI)

Other than spending all my "free" time finding Z-scores and making Binomial Probability Distributions I am teaching a class of 3 year olds at Preschool. Don't worry though - no diaper changing and I am actually teaching them! They are all precious and I truly love planning out my lessons for them..."No Dad, I do not think I should be a school teacher!" =)

On M/W/F I am still a stay at home momma to sister girl who is a lot easier these days although she has a loud voice when she screams, "NO!" and has a tendency to shake her booty as she stomps her little foot down to show she really doesn't like what I'm asking - BUT...other than all that with a toddler we are getting along just fine, thank you!

I have actually kept my commitment of exercising at least 2 days of the week now for almost a year...results showing in my "guns" that I will now be hiding during the winter season - but watch out I can totally take you down (as I do often with sister girl) =)

And lastly I am still acting out my role as VP at the boys' school's Parent/Teacher Club - insanely dramatic as most things with large groups of women are but "I will surviiiivvvveeeee!" =)

So, no I'm not pregnant (Amy & Dawn O. - I know you were hoping for more exciting news but thankfully that was not it! =)

I will try to keep up my posting in the months to come...in between putting out fires at the PTC, planning alphabet learning games for my little class, and finding the mean, variance and standard deviations. =)

Changes, they are a coming...

I love being around women...I mean people...set in their ways.

Lord have mercy - the facial expressions, the leg crossing, the biting of cheeks, the crooked eyebrows, the eye rolling, the pinched lips, the grunting under one's breath...it is all quite amusing!

Whenever someone new comes on board you know a little boat rocking is about to happen. You can always tell the difference between the crew members who have been serving long enough to inform you on who built their precious boat and the newbies - the one's who are nervously taking notes, nodding their heads in agreement, smiling and shouting out "amen sister" under their breath.

Oh, to be the new captain of an experienced sailed ship and stand in front of your new crew trying to prove yourself worthy of leading them out into fair weather. To stand tall and not waiver as the dirty looks are given and the whispers float through the air and sting you. To put on your mean face (when you probably want to just hug everyone and ask them to like you) and tell your new crew that you are to be taken serious!

"It won't work." "We've tried that." "I don't think so." "Who is she kidding?"

But in time as the boat sets sail, the crew members start working and the captain exhales a little bit and gets the feel of the worn down planks beneath her feet all becomes calm again.

"Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better."
King Whitney Jr.

"The little house that wouldn't sell"

You know...like "the little engine that wouldn't run"...get it? Sorry, I'm getting into preschool mode so bear with me.

It has been nine months. Wow, that's like carrying a baby. I never thought about it like that but for goodness sakes I've been carrying this dang house around on my shoulders for the past nine months but it didn't birth into a new, larger, more spacious house for my troubles. No...it just fell off my shoulders and allowed me a break - a break to step back and look at it from a new perspective. And it has changed - well my perspective has changed.

This will be hard for some of you to understand depending on your own financial living and your own desires of what you want out of life and for your family. We all don't row in the same boat as we travel down the path of life but we are all going the same route so to speak.

I so wanted to row in a bigger boat. I deserved it didn't I? I have three kids now and I've lived in this house for five years..."everyone" else has bigger houses so why can't I?

I managed to convince my very skeptical husband (who is in the heat of working on his dissertation for his PhD and trying to secure tenure at the university - not a very stable time for the man in my life) to jump on the realty bandwagon and "just give it a try for a few months" before we were both caught up in the whole mess of real estate and selfish desires. I see now why our country is in such a mess.

But wait a minute...let me explain...because I'm being very vague as I try to process my thoughts while writing to strangers/friends in cyberspace. My goal was to find a deal - something bigger that wasn't too much more - but realistically you can't get bigger without paying more and I sure was trying to fool myself (and my husband) into thinking we could.

All that to say - no one offered to buy our house. We had the most viewed house of any property my realtor has ever had. We showed our home over 40 times in nine months. I should have bought stock in Lysol for crying out loud! (I learned to clean my entire house very fast and very good) But no takers. Why didn't it sell? Well, goodness ask any realtor and they'll tell you why...

* priced too high
* needs a bonus room
* And the most precise answer of all - there are so many dag gum houses out there to buy in our market why would they buy ours when they can get a foreclosed house dirt cheap or a new one sitting there with the builder giving it away practically.

My thoughts are finally positive after I humbly and with a bit of wounded pride took down the sign in the front yard. I don't feel like I lost or that I gave up...I know that we will sell the house in a few years but right now I am actually content again.

Ian asked me one day after taking the sign down, "Mom, why did you want to sell the house again?" After I hit my head on the steering wheel and bit my lip I replied, "Well, Ian because mommy thought you and Eli needed more room." Ian's reply, "Oh...we are okay. I like our house." Enough said...

So, now I can sit back in my very clean and updated house and look at my beautiful family photos again, sit on my soft rug again, put my books back on my bookshelf in my bedroom again, and enjoy hanging out with my kids again - instead of yelling at them, "hurry up, we have two hours to clean the house and get out...."

And my big future plans...they totally were born out of carrying this house for the past nine months - God has a plan for each of us - I spent the past nine months fighting against His will (and knew it the whole time) but He is patient and His timing is awesome.

Nothing says a new school year like a color coded calendar!

First week down...27 weeks (nate's guess) left of busy, packed, fun-filled and probably a little hectic schedules.
I spent almost two hours last night color coding my outlook calendar for the family- soccer/green, piano/yellow, school events/blue, scouting/red, preschool/purple...I didn't even ask Nate what he was up to the next 10 months...

But I'm happy to be back at it again. We slept in enough (did I really say that?), watched too much t.v., soaked up way too many ultra-violet waves despite our 50 blockage!

Eli has survived a few anxiety attacks this week, Ian has already had his first x-ray for the school year (no broken wrist just very bruised), attitudes toward "school work" are more positive this time around although Ian told me 2nd grade wasn't as much fun as 1st grade and Eli swears he isn't learning anything new yet.

Surprises already? Eli came home today asking if he should run for student council, which I almost ran off to start using my paint pens and designing his vote for me signs, but controlled myself and casually slipped in that I had been the student council president of my high school at one time. I think I saw a glimmer of awe in his eye but it was quickly replaced by his brother making some sort of disgusting noise in the tub and lots of laughter. Then Eli asked if he should join choir at school, which made me almost burst into laughter bc the boy can't stand being in the spotlight and refuses to let any song slip out his mouth that is audible. I'm thinking we are going through some "changes" this year!

Actually our family will be going through a few new changes this fall but more of that to come in a different post....I'm off to plan Eli's campaign speech and pick a new color for "choir" on my calendar. ;)