Sep 28, 2008
Fireproof My Marriage!
Nate and I went and saw such a good movie last..."Fireproof" - it stars Kirk Cameron (remember Growing Pains in the 80's/90's) and was made by the same people who made "Facing the Giants". The house was packed and not a dry eye from man or woman was in there when the movie ended. It is all about a husband and wife who have reached the point where they feel they have to get a divorce - no other options to work through it. The husband's father asks him to try one more thing if he thinks there is 'anything' left saving in the marriage and the young man agrees to do it. For 40 days he reads this journal his dad gave him with one task to do each day for his wife, though he can't tell her why he is doing it. It's all about the reason everyone should fight to save their marriage b/c it isn't just a 'contract' we enter until things get too tough and then we pull out but rather it is a 'commitment' we make to each other for better and worse till death do us part (wasn't that any everyone's vows?). Even if your marriage isn't rocky we all have those selfish moments where we think the other spouse could do more for us, doesn't appreciate us, or maybe even worse is more committed to something else in their life now then our relationship; this is a movie everyone - young and old- should go see with their spouse and then talk about. With the divorce rate so high and so many of us with little children depending on us to make it for their sake I hope lots of people will see this movie and recommit to putting their spouse and their marriages first in their life! www.fireproofmymarriage.com
Sep 25, 2008
It was your face mom...says Eli
Eli (my 7 year old) and I have this ongoing struggle over lying. I don't know when it started but it rears its ugly head about once or twice a month. It goes something like this every time...
Example from tonight taking a shower...
Me: Eli, did you wash everything?
Eli: Yes
Me: Did you wash your (and I start naming everything until I get to armpits)
Eli: Yes (then he looks funny)
Me: Did you really wash your armpits?
Eli: Yes - (but now he's making that guilty face again that he does every time we get sucked into the is "is he lying" fight.
But then he says "no" - so I say "well wash your armpits" but then I think as any good mother would who realizes she needs to spend the extra energy she does not have at 8pm while bathing her children to make a teachable point..."Eli, you just lied to me didn't you?"
Let me point out that I admit I am a little sensitive about lying b/c I struggled with this as a child! I did it often growing up - usually at a younger age I ended up confessing to my mother but as I got older I really struggled with those little lies that don't hurt anyone but keep you from getting into heaps of trouble. So, I don't want Eli to fall into that trap.
Back to the bathroom...
As the story usually plays out....I realize he lied, tell him he will get a punishment for it, then he starts crying hysterically and changes his story yelling "You don't ever believe me..I'm not lying - why don't you believe me?" Then I go crazy in my head b/c 'didn't he just admit he was lying?' So, am I hearing things - is he confused - am I confused - God help us we are all confused now!
BUT THIS IS THE BEST PART....this time he looks at me and says "IT WAS YOUR FACE!" (I think meaning my face (or the look I was giving him) made him start cracking up so he looked guilty) but the thing is he just kept saying "IT WAS YOUR FACE THAT MADE ME DO IT - YOUR FACE!" Then Ian gets out of the shower and looks at me and says "Mom...I think you are beautiful!" Oh, the life of a mother - no, I didn't end up punishing Eli b/c he was so hysterical after the shower and we were both so confused as to if he really had washed his armpits that I was too exhausted to even think about it again! Lesson lost? At least I know that my face now has power to make others do things they regret! oh my...
Example from tonight taking a shower...
Me: Eli, did you wash everything?
Eli: Yes
Me: Did you wash your (and I start naming everything until I get to armpits)
Eli: Yes (then he looks funny)
Me: Did you really wash your armpits?
Eli: Yes - (but now he's making that guilty face again that he does every time we get sucked into the is "is he lying" fight.
But then he says "no" - so I say "well wash your armpits" but then I think as any good mother would who realizes she needs to spend the extra energy she does not have at 8pm while bathing her children to make a teachable point..."Eli, you just lied to me didn't you?"
Let me point out that I admit I am a little sensitive about lying b/c I struggled with this as a child! I did it often growing up - usually at a younger age I ended up confessing to my mother but as I got older I really struggled with those little lies that don't hurt anyone but keep you from getting into heaps of trouble. So, I don't want Eli to fall into that trap.
Back to the bathroom...
As the story usually plays out....I realize he lied, tell him he will get a punishment for it, then he starts crying hysterically and changes his story yelling "You don't ever believe me..I'm not lying - why don't you believe me?" Then I go crazy in my head b/c 'didn't he just admit he was lying?' So, am I hearing things - is he confused - am I confused - God help us we are all confused now!
BUT THIS IS THE BEST PART....this time he looks at me and says "IT WAS YOUR FACE!" (I think meaning my face (or the look I was giving him) made him start cracking up so he looked guilty) but the thing is he just kept saying "IT WAS YOUR FACE THAT MADE ME DO IT - YOUR FACE!" Then Ian gets out of the shower and looks at me and says "Mom...I think you are beautiful!" Oh, the life of a mother - no, I didn't end up punishing Eli b/c he was so hysterical after the shower and we were both so confused as to if he really had washed his armpits that I was too exhausted to even think about it again! Lesson lost? At least I know that my face now has power to make others do things they regret! oh my...
Sep 18, 2008
The things you hear in the minivan after school
I think counselors should start meeting with their patients in a minivan on their way home from work or school, etc. That seems to be a nonthreatening place where one can just let loose from the day and not have to look the 'listener' in the eye, while they just let it all out! Oh, thank goodness our little ones can't see our eyes as we tear up and take in all their hurts and pains and try to offer up advice and comfort while we watch out for the crazies on the road! So what was my counseling session about today you wonder....
Patient: Ian - 5 years old
Doctor's notes: Patient seemed very sad and quiet, complaining his stomach hurt and seemed to be fighting back tears.
Doctor's Question: "Ian, did something happen today that made you sad?"
Patient: "Yes, someone was mean to me."
Doctor: "Please continue..."
Patient: (paraphrased by doctor) "There is this really big boy, bigger then anyone, who is very mean and he wouldn't play with me. I was sitting by Luke (patient's friend) on the playground and this mean boy told me to get up and he didn't say please. Then there wasn't anywhere for me to sit and I had no one to play with. And that same mean boy pushed a girl and didn't say he was sorry."
Doctor: Wow! He seems really mean. You don't really want to play someone that mean do you?
Patient: No.
Doctor: So let's think of all the nice kids you like that play with you.
And so we talked about the nice kids. I'm being silly here but really Ian was so upset over this mean boy. He seems to be very effected by mean kids at school. Luckily this 'big kid' isn't in his room I found out - all playground socializing. All I can do is literaly pray each day for him that he won't get hurt, emotionally and physically, by all these different personalities at school and try to encourage and kiss the emotional boo boo's that do occur. Don't all us mommies wish we could shelter our little ones from the pains of growing up and 'the mean big kids who don't say please and their sorry!' Bless their hearts!!! I guess it is good practice for real life b/c don't we all know those same mean kids just grow up to be bigger and sometimes meaner!
Patient: Ian - 5 years old
Doctor's notes: Patient seemed very sad and quiet, complaining his stomach hurt and seemed to be fighting back tears.
Doctor's Question: "Ian, did something happen today that made you sad?"
Patient: "Yes, someone was mean to me."
Doctor: "Please continue..."
Patient: (paraphrased by doctor) "There is this really big boy, bigger then anyone, who is very mean and he wouldn't play with me. I was sitting by Luke (patient's friend) on the playground and this mean boy told me to get up and he didn't say please. Then there wasn't anywhere for me to sit and I had no one to play with. And that same mean boy pushed a girl and didn't say he was sorry."
Doctor: Wow! He seems really mean. You don't really want to play someone that mean do you?
Patient: No.
Doctor: So let's think of all the nice kids you like that play with you.
And so we talked about the nice kids. I'm being silly here but really Ian was so upset over this mean boy. He seems to be very effected by mean kids at school. Luckily this 'big kid' isn't in his room I found out - all playground socializing. All I can do is literaly pray each day for him that he won't get hurt, emotionally and physically, by all these different personalities at school and try to encourage and kiss the emotional boo boo's that do occur. Don't all us mommies wish we could shelter our little ones from the pains of growing up and 'the mean big kids who don't say please and their sorry!' Bless their hearts!!! I guess it is good practice for real life b/c don't we all know those same mean kids just grow up to be bigger and sometimes meaner!
why didn't anyone correct me?
Ok...so I didn't pay too much attention to my baby momma friend seeing how I said she had 6 legs instead of 8! Hello? What grade did we learn about spiders? Oh....and now she actually has 7 legs b/c she broke one off! Poor baby momma buddy!
Sep 15, 2008
Am I an overprotective emotional basketcase or what?
I guess this is why I have a blog; so, I can write needless thoughts to myself (and allow others to read them if they are bored) and hope I feel better in the long run. I'm about to do just that...
I just dropped Ian off at school and embarrassingly 1. told the secretary her rules were ridiculous 2. cried in front of the principal 3. boo hood all the way out to my car 4. just now gained composure (20mts. after leaving Ian). BUT I DIDN'T CRY IN FRONT OF IAN!!!
Why you wonder? B/C Ian has had some weird virus for the past 4 days - missed two days of school last week - keeps breaking out in an itchy rash, which I was told wasn't contagious, and then last night got knocked over so he has a huge goose egg on his forehead and had been asleep since 6pm till this morning. So, I told him I would walk down to his room and explain all that to his Pre-K teacher since she has NO PHONE NUMBER OR E-MAIL ADDRESS FOR ME TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HER! I go sign in the office like all the other parents I see that do this and ask for a hall pass and they tell me I can't go to his room anymore! What???? I said I wasn't "just walking him to his room but needed to talk to his teacher b/c he had been absent and sick for awhile." The SECRETARY looked at me and said "it is school policy you can't go to his room and bother the teacher you'll have to e-mail her or send a note!" I then (pregnant and very emotional) looked at her and said "that is the most ridiculous rule...she has no email or way of contacting her before this morning." SORRY CRAZY PREGNANT WOMAN ---- she was thinking I know! So she handed me a piece of paper and ignored me from there.
I sat in the office trying so hard not to cry in front of Ian - he was a big boy though - he didn't get upset and took my pitiful note and walked down the hall to class. I sat and watched him like I promised and then HE comes up -the principal! I mustered up the confidence and looked at him explaining my dismay that I couldn't even talk to Ian's teacher when he had been out sick and she had called me but left no contact number last week. He went on to tell me how it was to "PROTECT THE CHILDREN FROM GETTING HURT IF THE TEACHER WAS IGNORING THEM TO TALK TO ME." I responded that there was a teacher's ass. in her room every morning! He ignored that fact and said "your son will be OK. You can schedule a meeting with her during her planning period later today." (Like I'm some emotional pregnant woman or something). So, I started crying and walked away from him out the door of that horrible lock down school that is trying to protect our kids from their parents! All this concern simply b/c I don't' think Ian will tell anyone if he feels sick again - he didn't last week and when I picked him up he threw up at home and slept all afternoon - I did go over and over with him to tell the teacher if he felt sick this time. Why does he seem so much smaller then Eli when he started school? God help me this year! P.S. NOT ALL SCHOOLS ARE LIKE THIS - I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE OF MY OTHER CHILD!!!!!
I just dropped Ian off at school and embarrassingly 1. told the secretary her rules were ridiculous 2. cried in front of the principal 3. boo hood all the way out to my car 4. just now gained composure (20mts. after leaving Ian). BUT I DIDN'T CRY IN FRONT OF IAN!!!
Why you wonder? B/C Ian has had some weird virus for the past 4 days - missed two days of school last week - keeps breaking out in an itchy rash, which I was told wasn't contagious, and then last night got knocked over so he has a huge goose egg on his forehead and had been asleep since 6pm till this morning. So, I told him I would walk down to his room and explain all that to his Pre-K teacher since she has NO PHONE NUMBER OR E-MAIL ADDRESS FOR ME TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HER! I go sign in the office like all the other parents I see that do this and ask for a hall pass and they tell me I can't go to his room anymore! What???? I said I wasn't "just walking him to his room but needed to talk to his teacher b/c he had been absent and sick for awhile." The SECRETARY looked at me and said "it is school policy you can't go to his room and bother the teacher you'll have to e-mail her or send a note!" I then (pregnant and very emotional) looked at her and said "that is the most ridiculous rule...she has no email or way of contacting her before this morning." SORRY CRAZY PREGNANT WOMAN ---- she was thinking I know! So she handed me a piece of paper and ignored me from there.
I sat in the office trying so hard not to cry in front of Ian - he was a big boy though - he didn't get upset and took my pitiful note and walked down the hall to class. I sat and watched him like I promised and then HE comes up -the principal! I mustered up the confidence and looked at him explaining my dismay that I couldn't even talk to Ian's teacher when he had been out sick and she had called me but left no contact number last week. He went on to tell me how it was to "PROTECT THE CHILDREN FROM GETTING HURT IF THE TEACHER WAS IGNORING THEM TO TALK TO ME." I responded that there was a teacher's ass. in her room every morning! He ignored that fact and said "your son will be OK. You can schedule a meeting with her during her planning period later today." (Like I'm some emotional pregnant woman or something). So, I started crying and walked away from him out the door of that horrible lock down school that is trying to protect our kids from their parents! All this concern simply b/c I don't' think Ian will tell anyone if he feels sick again - he didn't last week and when I picked him up he threw up at home and slept all afternoon - I did go over and over with him to tell the teacher if he felt sick this time. Why does he seem so much smaller then Eli when he started school? God help me this year! P.S. NOT ALL SCHOOLS ARE LIKE THIS - I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE OF MY OTHER CHILD!!!!!
Sep 12, 2008
6 weeks to go
I've thought a lot lately about the fact that I never blog concerning my pregnancy. I was starting to feel guilty after I wrote more about my 6 legged baby momma friend then my own pregnancy so I thought I'd just write an update for any far away friends who read this (but am I really kidding myself with that one?)
I'm within a few hours, technically, of being 6 weeks till due date - October 25th. We're told this precious baby is a girl inside me so after much concern of 1. deciding whether we needed to keep the long E sound in our children's name (although Ian does start with I -weird Irish) and 2. they all have 3 letter names for some reason - not planned promise- we picked the longest name possible that does start with long E - Elizabeth. To explain why...it is my middle name so I felt a certain connection to it and (don't laugh) but all growing up I always played with a beautiful baby doll whom I named Elizabeth. As well as the fact that on my dad's side the name Elizabeth seems to be in most women's names??? And now the weird news; Nate and I are very adamant about calling her Elizabeth as opposed to Ellie, Liz, Lizzy, whatever else you can dream up - and we have already threatened one set of grandparents that they wouldn't get to see her if they tried to sneak in a nickname! We're serious folks! =)
Middle name? Rose...this after my Granny Rose who meant so much to me growing up - and I do know that as the many Stanley women on my mother's side (all of her sisters) and also my sister and I have received her genes and along with them a bit of her stubbornness, go get it done - don't mess with me - I told you so - at the same time caring and loving attitude (she called me her little sunshine growing up and let me drink coffee & watch her soap operas after school before mom picked me up at her house) how could I pass up that name and the legacy it holds!
After telling so many that I wouldn't fall into the pink trap of having a girl I fell in face first - pink clothes (not my fault they are mostly hand-me-downs), very girly but tastefully so pink and green rose bedding, and yes - A PINK ROOM! But...it is the lightest pink you can purchase and my husband (though a bit color blind) has a hard time telling it is not white!
So, to save you those horrible pictures of pregnant women in their last days of torture where they look like they are delivering a 1st grader (my friend told me to tell people that about myself - thanks a lot Katie!) I'll not post a picture of myself - you can just imagine!!!! But I will post my two sweet boys painting the room pink! Did I mention they ARE SO THRILLED about having a baby girl in the house? And by the way...I think I'm delivering a 1st grader!
I'm within a few hours, technically, of being 6 weeks till due date - October 25th. We're told this precious baby is a girl inside me so after much concern of 1. deciding whether we needed to keep the long E sound in our children's name (although Ian does start with I -weird Irish) and 2. they all have 3 letter names for some reason - not planned promise- we picked the longest name possible that does start with long E - Elizabeth. To explain why...it is my middle name so I felt a certain connection to it and (don't laugh) but all growing up I always played with a beautiful baby doll whom I named Elizabeth. As well as the fact that on my dad's side the name Elizabeth seems to be in most women's names??? And now the weird news; Nate and I are very adamant about calling her Elizabeth as opposed to Ellie, Liz, Lizzy, whatever else you can dream up - and we have already threatened one set of grandparents that they wouldn't get to see her if they tried to sneak in a nickname! We're serious folks! =)
Middle name? Rose...this after my Granny Rose who meant so much to me growing up - and I do know that as the many Stanley women on my mother's side (all of her sisters) and also my sister and I have received her genes and along with them a bit of her stubbornness, go get it done - don't mess with me - I told you so - at the same time caring and loving attitude (she called me her little sunshine growing up and let me drink coffee & watch her soap operas after school before mom picked me up at her house) how could I pass up that name and the legacy it holds!
After telling so many that I wouldn't fall into the pink trap of having a girl I fell in face first - pink clothes (not my fault they are mostly hand-me-downs), very girly but tastefully so pink and green rose bedding, and yes - A PINK ROOM! But...it is the lightest pink you can purchase and my husband (though a bit color blind) has a hard time telling it is not white!
So, to save you those horrible pictures of pregnant women in their last days of torture where they look like they are delivering a 1st grader (my friend told me to tell people that about myself - thanks a lot Katie!) I'll not post a picture of myself - you can just imagine!!!! But I will post my two sweet boys painting the room pink! Did I mention they ARE SO THRILLED about having a baby girl in the house? And by the way...I think I'm delivering a 1st grader!
6 legged baby momma friend
I have a companion & inspirational buddy in my last trimester - a beautiful, at one time big bootied, delicate (as my husband often times call me - usually after I get hurt from his "rough housing" with me) and hard working one at that! Who is she? My back yard spider friend. Please admire her pictures and her work of art - another thing we have in common. I'm deligently painting my friend's canvases (thank you thank you thank you for asking me) at the kitchen table and there she is weaving her masterful spider webs right outside my kitchen window so we can all admire her work.
One day the boys in the house (all three of them) kept commenting on my friend's growing backside and they all thought it made for great comic relief. I on the other hand, having compassion and feeling some draw to this female friend, wondered out loud if she was carring babies! Day after day at the supper table the males around here again laughed at that beautiful big booty...while I'm internalizing (don't all women do this?)how big my booty is getting with this pregnancy! It's starting to really get to me - so I chastise them for speaking so rudely behind our backyard guest's back (while I ask for seconds on the mashed potatoes).
Sure enough, we wake up one morning and while eating breakfast at the table we check on the status of our spider and realize her booty is missing! I'm jealous now!!!
And there it is....her first egg sack attached to our window. Now I'm really jealous! Why can't I let my baby grow in a sack hooked securely to the wall so I can get busy on other things while she grows safely in my home? And her figure? It was back to her slim self again. AUGHHHH! Despite all this I still feel drawn to my 6 legged baby momma friend and know that I really do have it made; although, I won't lose my big booty the minute this baby comes out I also won't have to start all over growing more babies and laying more egg sacks (her booty will get big many times before winter) and then just die hoping nature won't be too harsh on my babies as they grow in their sacks until Spring. Oh, the stretch marks she must have hidden down there!
One day the boys in the house (all three of them) kept commenting on my friend's growing backside and they all thought it made for great comic relief. I on the other hand, having compassion and feeling some draw to this female friend, wondered out loud if she was carring babies! Day after day at the supper table the males around here again laughed at that beautiful big booty...while I'm internalizing (don't all women do this?)how big my booty is getting with this pregnancy! It's starting to really get to me - so I chastise them for speaking so rudely behind our backyard guest's back (while I ask for seconds on the mashed potatoes).
Sure enough, we wake up one morning and while eating breakfast at the table we check on the status of our spider and realize her booty is missing! I'm jealous now!!!
And there it is....her first egg sack attached to our window. Now I'm really jealous! Why can't I let my baby grow in a sack hooked securely to the wall so I can get busy on other things while she grows safely in my home? And her figure? It was back to her slim self again. AUGHHHH! Despite all this I still feel drawn to my 6 legged baby momma friend and know that I really do have it made; although, I won't lose my big booty the minute this baby comes out I also won't have to start all over growing more babies and laying more egg sacks (her booty will get big many times before winter) and then just die hoping nature won't be too harsh on my babies as they grow in their sacks until Spring. Oh, the stretch marks she must have hidden down there!
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