Blessed or Victim?

Something about Wal-mart brings out the worst in sister girl and me.

I recently was at a Mothers of Preschoolers' meeting where there was a panel of married couples - seasoned ones I might add. They were giving us advice on our marriages and well everything else they felt led to tell us about.

This one woman started the show by saying, "After reading most of your questions I see a common theme here...you mothers look at yourselves as victims! Well let me tell you that you are not victims - you are BLESSED to have these children!" She went on to give some wonderful advice and charges to us moms (who were covered in grape juice, baby spit and had bags under our eyes)to buck up...get the dads more involved...and keep charging on!

I felt empowered from her speech until I went back to Wal-mart with Sister Girl today. Then my balloon popped and well I was back to being a victim!

About two or three months ago I took Elizabeth to the toy section of Wal-mart in search of a prize Barbee. The reward for successful potty training had been long anticipated. I of course made the mistake of all mistakes (and this is my third child....I'm losing it folks) - I told her "to pick out a Barbee" amongst the row of hundreds of Barbee's and hundreds of price differences. I had in mind that she would of course pick one of the few I was so cleverly pointing out to her under $10 but that isn't how Sister Girl's mind works. NO, she quickly fell in love with the most expensive doll on the aisle.

Long story short...we left Wal-mart by way of me carrying her out the store by the walk of shame - football hold - screaming "I WANT THAT DOLL!" It was the most horrific experience of my life...MY LIFE I tell you!!!!!! We still talk about that experience at Wal-mart where "you acted so terrible screaming through the store and momma was sooo mad at you!" Oh, she hasn't forgotten that day!

We have since been to Wal-mart and Kroger and Target without any fiasco's but I knew she was just saving up for me. And today was the day.

I was thinking about what a blessing my children were...all three of them...as they were in tow after school pick up. I only had to pick up some pictures - in and out - nothing to it. But then I got side tracked by the Valentine cards.

"Do you boys want to pick out some cards now?" I so sweetly asked them - MISTAKE #1.

Then after the lingering around the red heart pillows was too much for her, Sister Girl pleaded with me to get out of the buggy. She SWORE she would stay right by me and just LOOK! - MISTAKE #2.

It wasn't long before those red heart pillows got boring and she was ready to move on to bigger, redder and shinier objects in Wal-mart! And so the stand-off began.

Just imagine the next three minutes with me squatted down muttering expletives under my breath while smiling an evil "step mother/witch like smile" at the sweet little girl with the big bow tip toeing backwards away from me. With every inch I took closer to her she would get her arms up and feet ready to start a mile dash through the store.

For some reason the following threats don't work in a store...

"If you don't get back over here now I'm going to get you!"

"Young lady I will count to three and you had better walk back to me!"

"You are going to regret it if you run away from me!"

Then you start to get a little crazy (the teenage redneck girls laughing behind your back don't make the situation any better...nor does your eight year old son, oblivious to you crawling on the wal-mart floor trying to sneak up to your 3 year old daughter and catch her pant legs before she flees, who persistently asks you which valentines girls would like better!)and words come out like this...

"When I get you girl you will wish you had stayed in that cart!"

"I'm gonna take you into that bathroom and make you wish you hadn't stepped foot past those glitter heart pillows!"

All in the name of discipline and love mind you...and all knowing that I wouldn't dare lay a hand on my sweet child - in public - I JUST WANT HER BACK IN THE CART!

Well needless to say I entertained quite a few spectators and mortified her 10 year old brother. I won the stare down, lured her back to the cart where I pulled my mother's trick of taking all my frustration out through my hands with her famous "squeeze the legs (or arms or chin) maneuver" and placed a very pouty Sister Girl on my hip where I could manhandle her all the way to the photos and out the door!

So...blessed or victim? I'll have to think about that one...


Side Note:
I KNOW I am blessed beyond words - and I KNOW I'm no victim of my children - but I also KNOW that Wal-mart, Sister Girl and me don't make for a feel good parenting experience!