"tis the season of toddlerhood"

Okay, I'm having one of those weeks. I'm thinking too much about everything and delving too deep into my brain which always makes me a little crazy. So maybe I'll just type it out...

I feel like the baby stork that was so kind in dropping off my little sister girl 20 months ago has snuck into my house and taken that cute little baby and replaced her with an even cuter but louder, bigger and oh my what a temper little toddler. I truly thought they didn't enter the terrible two's until they were...uhhh...TWO! But I was mistaken!

I say this all with a mother's heart full of love and adoration towards my precious little girl...you all know that right?

But oh my goodness she is running me raged this summer!!!!

Since the boys have had more free time during the week I have ventured into taking them all to more populated places by myself. The stuff I did even last summer just with a baby carrier and immobile child aboard has completely made me think twice about going ever again. Now I look like the crazy woman who is bent over (because you know mothers of toddlers don't ever stand up straight) chasing a 2 1/2 foot screaming banchi with pig tails across whatever open plain we maybe visiting: swimming pool, wooded trail, creek bed, store aisle, museum play area, open playground, our street!!! Have I mentioned that I'm a somewhat shy person until I know you? That means that having anywhere from 5 to 30 people at any given place staring at me shaking their head and saying, "oh my" as they watch me run down my little sweet heart before she 1. jumps into the deep end of the pool 2. takes some child's toy as they cling to it for dear life 3. refuse to sit any longer in the grocery cart 4. decides that kid's sippy cup looks tasty across the room 5. feels like running down our driveway at full speed with no worry of what car maybe driving past 6. decides to climb up the second floor of our tower of terror play set that Nate built the boys with it's death drop open floor plan! That is my life...

The only good thing is this...I did this with my second child, although it was 6 years ago (and you can forget a lot in 6 years let me tell you)! Everything she is putting me through...Ian already did it! And I'm 6 years more mature, 6 years wiser, 6 years more laid back! So how do I handle it now? Well, I don't cry, I don't scream at her, I don't hit her out of frustration...I simply grit my teeth, squeeze her tightly to my chest and tell her that she can not yell at mommy! I am stronger now too so I use my all powerful muscles to unclench her extremely powerful vice grip on whatever it is she has decided she needs at the moment and hold her bunking bronco legs that are kicking up a storm...then I tell her to tell me she is sorry, listen to her sweet little baby voice say sowwweeee and magically she looks at me like nothing has ever happened...until she finds another 'something' to get into.

And that is my life these days. I get frustrated because I look at my two boys and I think, "Sarah, you have already been through these "terrible two's with them and you survived and life was so easy! Now look at you silly girl...your doing it all over again while your friends watch and shake their heads at 'poor Sarah'." And then I feel terribly guilty for having those thoughts because of course I love Elizabeth so very much and she does bring such joy and laughter to me all day! I know that this is just the time of a child's life where it is nothing but hard work. I know that she is simply clay in my hands and I have to mold her into what I want her to become...I either let her scream at me and run wild while I shy away in embarrassment or I hunker down and discipline her and teach her what is acceptable and what is not and then watch as she finally learns (in about 2 more years). I accept that I do not have a shy or quite or very submissive child right now. This is how she is and how she will probably be for her whole life so my job is to take her character traits and make sure she gets the most positive life experience from them.

It's just a lot of stinking work right now...and I've been spoiled by the boys' ages...and I'm older...and I get jealous of my friends who can finally sit back on the park bench or the swimming pool chairs and watch their kids play while they talk and I think to myself I was there for years and now I have to smile as I run by them and chase my toddler! But I know that I will back sunbathing in oh, let's say two years and I know that I probably won't even remember all this running around in say four years and that's just how it works...but until then I just have to breath a heavy sigh and say tis the season...now excuse me while I keep Elizabeth from tackling that child over his cookie!