It takes control

I have learned something this past week. Sometimes life just throws a lot of curve balls at you and before you know it you have to make a choice...

I had to make a choice to just keep trudging though and force my mind to stay on the positive. We had received some surprising news at the beginning of the week concerning one of our children. When I heard it I took it so well. I didn't cry. I didn't let my mind wonder. I listened to what the doctor told us and trusted him when he said "I am very confident that 'this' is nothing to worry about but to be on the 100% safe side we will get a second opinion." I held it together when I told family and wrote an e-mail to friends asking for prayer this week. I didn't want to over-react...I mean the doctor said he was very confident. But then a few days went by...

I realized I was having to force my brain to stay in the positive. It was so easy to let my imagination run crazy and go down that path of drama and "what if's," especially as friends and family called to make sure we were okay. I finally gave in to the drama unfolding in my brain at the end of the week and just lost it. Thankfully I lost it with my momma on the phone (love using the word 'momma' when that is what I needed). She said all the right stuff that I knew...you have no reason to worry being the most important! And then I was okay. I have been ever since that good cry. I guess that is what I needed to allow myself to do. So I could look back at my moment of drama and say, "now see there...what's all this carrying on about...no need girl!" And then I snapped out of it.

It just made me think about how sometimes when life throws us those curve balls we are not expecting we have to actually work very hard to keep control of our minds and stay in the positive. It is so easy to just fall apart and let go of the hope we have the promise we have that God is in control and no matter how bad things get it will all work out one way or another in the end. And there isn't much we can do about it in between. I haven't had to do that in awhile...and it isn't much fun. But I'm still in the waiting stages and I am still clinging to the idea that everything is going to be okay...and I still have to make my mind stay focused on what I do know, not what I don't!