My Mother-in-law...

I know I'm walking on thin ice with this post but I thought the idea was funny and I had to get it on "paper."

My Mother-in-law is the sweetest woman-really she is! I'm not joking now, so stop snickering!

But I was just thinking tonight how hard it is for her to deal with me as a daughter-in-law. And that makes me snicker!

I invited Nate's parents over for dinner tonight. While we were having interrupted conversation over three little people vying for attention from the new people in the house Nate told her about someone from our past. When she remembered who it was she asked, "Didn't ___ have a drinking problem?" And what did I say in response?

"Oh, doesn't everyone have a drinking problem at some point in their life?" I thought it was funny but she just smiled and Nate felt the need to clarify..."you mean in college right?" Note- my mother-in-law has never had more than maybe one glass of wine in her life...and I'm not knocking her for it mind you!

Then later I proceeded to tell her the story of Elizabeth escaping from the house, under my protective - well not so protective- watch and running down the road. Now that a week has gone by I can laugh at this story (I was not laughing when it happened mind you) but I didn't get a laugh or even a gasp (as my own mother gave me) in response. Rather she got this shocked look and didn't say a word.

No word is worse than any word when you are the daughter-in-law.

I know being a mother-in-law is a very hard job when you have a son. It is quite different when you are the mother-in-law to a son-in-law...do you get what I'm saying? When it isn't your daughter's baby you can't just feed your grandchild anything you want - well, unless you want a dirty look and a nasty word said later to your son. You can't give unsolicited advice without taking a chance at ruining ever seeing your precious grandchildren again (just kidding on that one). It's definitely a fine line you walk with a daughter-in-law.

And I know I'm no easy daughter-in-law. When my first son was born my favorite thing to say was, "That's not in the book." At one point my m.in.law got so fed up with me saying this line she had a moment of weakness and blurted out, "That Book! That Book!" It was funny...well not at the time but now it is.

I use to make her and her mother cook vegetables for my first son in a separate pot with no butter or salt because you know "the book" said it would ruin their healthy little bodies! God love those women for putting up with me!

All that to say...I love my mother-in-law very much and can say honestly that we now have a wonderful relationship. I just laugh inside still at the many times I'm sure she is shaking her head at me when I show my true/wild spirit!

At least I learned how to make her famous sweet tea correctly (she did write her recipe on a card for me when I married her son, so I would know how to make his favorite drink). I think that won her over from the start - and well she likes to drink my sweet tea when she comes over. =)

Don't like it? Change it!

Don't like the way your life is going? Change it!

Don't like the way you look? Work at it!
Don't like the way your family eats? Spend a little time finding new recipes!
Don't like your friend list? Make one new friend!
Don't like how little money you have? Find a creative way to make a little extra!
Don't like your kids' school? Volunteer and commit to making a difference!
Don't like how much t.v. your kids watch? Turn it off!
Don't like how little your kids read? Get a book and read to them!
Don't like how messy your house is? Clean something!
Don't like how your kids are being bullied? Go talk to the adults in charge!
Don't like how you are growing apart from your husband? Make a date with him!
Don't like how many orphaned kids there are in the world? Adopt one - or give money to someone who is!
Don't like how many needy families there are in your community who have lost jobs? Give them a grocery card!
Don't like how your kid is disrespecting you? Discipline them!
Don't like how empty you feel? Reach out to another person!
Don't feel like God knows or cares who you are? Start a conversation with Him!

Don't like the way your life is going? Change it!

News flash...runaway child alert!

News Flash...

2 year old found dancing in the middle of an empty street in local neighborhood.

When asked, "where do you belong little girl" she replied, as she gave me a spin to show the ruffles flaring outward on her dress, "somewhere down there."

As I looked down the street I saw a half crazed woman running down the asphalt road barefoot and in her pajamas yelling, "Elizabeth!"

I turned to the wild eyed princess still spinning and asked, "Is your name Elizabeth and do you know that person running at full speed towards you?"

She replied very casually, "That is one of many names I am called sir and I do believe I recognize that person- now would you excuse me I need to start running again."

With that she took off running faster than any short legged toddler I had ever seen, ruffles flapping in the wind and hair blowing around her face.

Then all was quiet. The crazy woman had stopped dead in her tracks. She seemed to be sizing up her target. The little princess was now hiding behind a mailbox, peeping every so often from the side. It appeared she too was sizing up her accuser.

Now picture an old Western scene...tumble weeds rolling down the empty road...the villain on one end holding her ground and the sheriff standing firm waiting for an opportunity to make the first move.

Then it happened. The frilly princess took her chances again and darted down the street further only to stumble on her bare feet and fall to the ground. The once frantic looking woman gave a slight grin and slowly walked the distance that had separated them.

With crying child pleading for mercy and pointing out her wounds the crazy woman controlled her anger and gently but firmly scooped up what now I realized was her child into her arms and then hobbled back to their house. (her sensitive bare feet were not used to such torture I assume)

I watched as the mischievous child's mother was somehow able to control her discipline until she went into the privacy of her house. There is only speculation as to what happened next to this runaway toddler.

Although upon further investigation I did discover the child's father coming home from work with a bag from Lowe's not soon after the incident. I heard an electric screwdriver running moments afterwards in the front of the house, so I assume stability has resumed in this household.

This is "Wild Child on the Lose" investigative reporter saying...lock your doors, keep both eyes on your little ones, and if all else fells use rope! Good night!

Speedos and Childhood Dreams

This past weekend my husband fulfilled a child-hood dream.

When he was little he was a swimmer. He spent many summers with sun bleached hair and tan skin in his little bikini speedo swimming laps on a Jackson swim team (I've seen pictures...trust me he was a cutie!) But then like most kids do he lost interest in the sport and his parents didn't 'make him' stick with it. So he quit.

But now he is an adult and let me tell you the man can still swim. To watch him glide through the water with his propeller arms doing the backstroke or his back leaping up out of the water doing the butterfly is a beautiful thing...really.

I'm not a swimmer. Oh, but I've never let that stop me mind you. I was a lifeguard for many summers in college and to pass the long swim test you go through I did the side stroke most of the way...seriously. (hey, you can save a drowning person with a red flotation device and a strong side stroke!) So, I have always been in awe at my husband (and now sons) as they master the different strokes of the water.

Like most parents we put our own interests aside while we help our offspring pursue their new dreams of playing sports or learning instruments. But when we do take the time to knock off the dust of our own desires we sometimes shock ourselves.

I have a friend who recently took up photography and took a college class to learn the skill. Now she has a part time job using her new interest to make money and have fun. My dad after retirement taught himself how to carve and now makes beautiful wooden birds. I have always loved writing but never allowed myself to pursue the interest other than blogging until the past few months. Now I spend all my free time writing a book(more on that another time).

But my husband...he joined the MTSU Master's swim team a few weeks ago. We decided to go to the first meet in Auburn this past weekend for him to compete. Why not spend a weekend in a hotel doing nothing but eating out and watching my speedo wearing husband walk around a pool? The man did great. He didn't take home any trophies but he did get a qualifying time in the backstroke to compete in the Nationals in Arizona (which his team will be paying for...and I won't be attending...don't worry family I won't hit you up again for babysitting).

But to see him after his races. I can't describe the pride I saw on his 34 year old face pursing a dream he has had for so long. Maybe he missed his chance for the Olympics a few years back but that won't slow this guy down. I suppose I need to start shopping for bikini speedos - and well, razors (he is a hairy guy).

Motherhood could be compared to...

Motherhood could be compared to switching gears like a redneck Indy 500 race car driver on his last lap. You can go from a complete "high" to a drop down dig me a hole to die in "low" within five seconds. You can be in the process of patting yourself on the back, giving your imaginary friend a high five, or telling yourself to "kiss your brain" because you are so awesome and then before you lower your hand you are having to hide it over your face in shame.

If they weren't so darn cute I swear this parenthood thing would do us all in!

I find myself at moments laughing hysterically with my kids - running down the backyard about to score a goal while screaming in fear that my nine year old is going to tackle me- or doing flips on the trampoline and crying from laughter because I'm about to pee in my pants (I make sure to tell my cackling boys that it is their fault my bladder is gone to pots mind you) or smiling from ear to ear because sister girl has discovered how to jump in her rolling high chair at church so that it will move backwards (and we allow her to roll herself very, very far away from us - "wow, it is so quiet now")3rd children!

And then I find myself having a mommy tantrum in the parking lot because my oldest son has "not pinched" his brother outside the van door for some reason (oh, maybe because his brother was fighting over the middle seat with him) and now I hear screaming and crying. Or I find myself for the THIRD TIME cleaning up poop in my daughter's underwear RIGHT AFTER we just spent a victory moment in the bathroom with her going #2 on the toilet AND receiving a reward sucker. What's up with that I ask you? Or praising sister girl's sweet attitude only to watch her walk away and hit a little kid on the head for no reason on the slide!!!!

You switch from nice guy to mean guy and then back again to nice guy so many times and so fast on some days that it can make your head spin.

I sat down on the boys' bedroom floor tonight after pulling single parent duty for the evening and just took a deep breath. "Boys you know I love you!" And I do...I wouldn't trade the craziness of my life for anything; but I'm not going to lie and sugar coat it either, which is one reason I love to blog! It is hard work! It really sucks at times! My kids are often selfish and mean and uncaring to each other (or to me) but then most of the time they are sweet, obedient, loving, and fun to be with.

In the end they make it all worth it.

"muffins with mom"

I thought I was going to "muffins for mom" but once I raced down the halls of a three story school building, hanging onto sister girl's coat hat (that is the best way to hang onto her these days), collecting the boys from their classrooms and finally reaching the library - our destination for the muffins well and the books awaiting my credit card - I was in no condition for a relaxing muffin!

I wasn't in any state for one but my two sweet boys were, oh and sister girl too! So there I was walking through a crowded library with three kids all stuffing their faces with muffins and drinking juice - the juice that I couldn't drink because I was holding sister girl back from ripping into the thousands of princess books strategically placed at her eye level throughout the room.

No, I didn't even ask for a muffin. Rather I ordered Ian to sit down on the floor with his paper cup and napkin that had been teetering over $10, $20 and $30 books! Then I balanced sister girl on one hip, eating her muffin, and walked around with the other boy trying to smile politely at all the well dressed mothers casually roaming the book fair with their children.

Well dressed mothers...they all looked like they had just come from the office in their suits and high heels with hair perfectly placed and lip stick dabbed on. Me? Usually I try to dress somewhat presentable when entering the boys' school but today I made a last minute decision to drop in with sister girl and partake in the "muffins with mom" on my way to Zumba class (my aerobic dance class).

Needless to say I was dressed in skin tight black work out pants, an old see through shirt and sports bra...oh, and my hat to hide my dirty hair (why fix it if I would just be taking a shower in less than two hours). So there I was...having to keep on my winter coat in order to hide my saggy bottom that was so inappropriately exposed to all children and mothers in the library. (At least it was muffins with mom and not donuts with dad I was strutting through)

So with my coat AND SCARF TIED AROUND MY NECK there I was sweating like a pig as I squeezed sister girl on my hip, catching her crumbles and dreaming of eating them before I threw them in the garbage.

I tried to be sweet to my boys...I really did. But I think it came out more like, "hurry up and pick out the book you wanted!" And "We are not buying that book for $20.00!" Finally, after keeping sister girl from ripping open a princes music player and paying for two books I grabbed my youngest by the coat again and managed to say goodbye to the women in the room as I wiped my face of sweat and pushed my family of four into the hallway.

The boys quickly walked back to their rooms with a quiet thank you from the oldest and of course no public hugs. I placed sister girl back on my hip and left the school convinced I had worked out enough at "muffins with mom" to deserve a treat on the way home...one I wouldn't be sharing!

The challenges of the child who "marches to his own drum"

As we lay in bed together..."I love you Ian." "Good night," replied Ian. I wait..."I love you," again. "Good night," he says again.

I thought about that - sadly I admit - and wondered about my middle son. I tried to get up out of bed a few minutes later, thinking about all that needed to be done, but Ian quietly whispered, "will you stay in bed with me longer?" Then I realized something. He might not verbally say it to me but he wants me there by his side.

He is a different one my little Ian. He isn't very verbal about his feelings or his thoughts. He doesn't care to alway play 'with' someone. He hardly ever listens to you when you are rattling off what to do throughout the day. He is that child you would describe as "in his own world" or "marches to his own beat." I have said that about him since he was little but its just different now that he is older.

I am having to rethink how this blonde headed, adorable looking boy that I am totally in love with thinks and needs love. His love language? Just be by my side but don't expect me to talk to you and by all means don't tell me what to do! That about sums it up...

So, my challenge now - the challenge any of us have with a child who doesn't always show affection or make his presence known within the family dynamics - how to make sure this child is included in the family, how to keep him from being overlooked, how to stop alway giving him negative attention (because that is what you are always having to do with him) but turn it around to a positive interaction?

My other two children are going to have their presence known the minute they are in the room. Eli will tell you every detail of his day along with everyone else that came into his proximity. Elizabeth will just make sure she has touched, talked, or smiled at everyone she has seen that day. Ian...could go all day without sharing what he did or thought. How do you make sure you don't overlook him - forget about his quiet needs - carve out time to make him feel loved even though he acts like he doesn't want the attention. How do you keep from getting your feelings hurt when he doesn't want to hug, doesn't want to sit and visit, doesn't really care what you tell him to do?

I know part of this is a phase he is going through (don't we as mothers always say that when our child is being particularly difficult) but really I'm just more aware that this is how Ian has always been and I need to learn how to deal with it.

It's amazing how different children can be in one family. The challenges we face as parents never end but trying to discover how to truly make each child feel special and loved even in the midst of others is the most daunting at times. If I have learned anything lately it is the importance of reaching out to a child through the muck of disobedience and challenges; even when that affection isn't reciprocated it is still so important to him.