"Excuse the chaos Mr. Cramer!"

This afternoon I brought home my friend's two boys from school until her husband could drive across town to pick them up. This is the reenactment of my crazy afternoon (as usual)...I hope it brings some entertainment to your household.

Come in the house. All four boys go to back yard to jump on trampoline "WITH COATS ON AND ZIPPED UP!" I try half-heartedly to put Elizabeth back in her crib after hearing her pipe up in the backseat with the sleepy song. Didn't work...we go into kitchen.

Put Elizabeth in high chair for an afternoon snack of "keep baby busy with food" just in time for first child to come through back door screaming. It was Ian...I'm not too worried despite the whaling coming from his vocal chords.

Just hit in the face with a ball...he started the game said big brother...give Ian a cookie (just between me and him) and all is better.

Fill up dishwasher and push start. Next child starts screaming and back door flings open. This time it is the friend's oldest son. He was hit in the arm by younger brother with swing chain (don't ask why the swing chain was laying in the lawn just tempting a young boy to swing it...don't ask!). Give hurt arm boy a cookie and then make younger brother apologize. Now everyone is in the kitchen grabbing pop cycles out of freezer.

Horrible noise starts emanating (thanks Nate for that big word) from dishwasher. When the noise is too much to bear I push cancel and when that doesn't work I open the dishwasher door only to have water pour out onto the floor. After a brief screaming episode myself and two towels on the floor I calm down.

Ian then looks at me over his thinment Girl Scout cookie and says, "this isn't a good day for you is it?"

I proceed to call Nate (like he can do something over the phone other than feel sorry for me and KNOW what I'm going through right now). Then I call the dishwasher repair people and the warranty company.

Then the door bell rings...I answer it thinking it is friend's kids' father (and husband) but no, it is a salesman. I puff out my chest and tell myself 'NO NO NO' over and over until finally it comes out enough and I'm able to shut the door feeling a little guilty that I didn't buy something from the poor man.

I go back to screaming baby in highchair and get her down while taking off her yogurt soiled clothes and let her go running. Get back on phone with dishwasher people only to hear door bell ring again.

This time it is Mr. Cramer. I mouth for him to come in and explain that my dishwasher leaked all over the floor, "do you know how to unclog a flooded dishwasher?" I ask. He surveys the chaos and begins to inspect the dishwasher as any gentleman in the presence of a crazy woman would do.

I get off the phone and after discussing the possible problems of the dishwasher we hear Elizabeth screaming. We then all go to the bedroom where Elizabeth is stuck under her crib (obviously coaxed there by one of the 4 other children in the house). Mr. Cramer than kindly explains to Elizabeth how to duck her head down and crawl on out from under the crib while I'm laughing nervously/hysterically from behind him. Of course that is when Mr. Cramer can see that yes indeed my child was not only unsupervised but half naked in her bedroom. We then proceed into the living room where he tries to gather his young ones from the trance of the play station when Elizabeth walks in and throws up on the floor inches from Mr. Cramer's shoes. Without hesitation he runs into the kitchen and grabs paper towels while I grab Elizabeth and take her to the sink.

At this point I'm apologizing profusely for my house..my kids...my life. He just smiles and says something about his house being the same way, which I'm sure it is only b/c any house with three kids is INSANE! Then he whisks his family out the front door (I think I saw his eyebrow twitching).

And the sad thing is that was only 4pm...I still had 3 more hours to go! But it is 8:15 now and I can laugh about it all; Eli worked on his speech, Ian read his very long book finally, Elizabeth got a bath and put to bed, Nate fixed the dishwasher (and garbage disposal that quit working too), and I'm about to crash in bed!

(NOTE TO READERS: NONE OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED CHAOS WAS DUE TO MR. CRAMER'S CHILDREN BEING AT MY HOUSE...THEY ARE LOVELY BOYS AND ONLY ADD TO THE FLAVOR OF THE CALLENDER FAMILY'S CRAZINESS!)