why do we do it to ourselves, really?

I was working at preschool today and at the moment just standing outside a classroom getting ready to once again ride my wooden pony into the room and start galloping around to get the kids all energized (that is what creative movement is all about right? Getting the children energized). At that same time a mother was pushing her baby in a stroller through the double doors while holding a giant box; she then proceeded to sign in as a visitor. I asked her if she would like some help and she turned me down while proudly showing me the elaborate cowboy cookies she had obviously made from scratch and decorated. (It was cowboy day) She felt the need to explain why the 'black icing didn't turn out quite like she wanted' and then me and another teacher laughingly said "I hope those kids get a good look at the cookie before they eat it." We all laughed again but then the proud cookie momma strolled down the hall to present her achievement to the teachers. I later saw those cookies not eaten but laid out on the nameplates for the kids to take home (and hopefully for some more mommas to see).

It made me think...why do we do it to ourselves, really?

I remember my first experience with the whole preschool thing. Eli was only 2 and his preschool only lasted 2 1/2 hours twice a week but the worries it put me through - oh my! Each holiday was a class party. All the mommas were in the classroom with their 'dishes' and 'treats' for the party. But the big thing was the gifts they seem to had gotten in a tradition of giving. Every mother gave each child a treat bag full of stuff. Short on money and being a new timer at the whole mother thing I was very overwhelmed. I pulled myself together that Christmas though and decided I would out do everyone. I bought some red and green felt, spent hours cutting little stocking shapes out and hand sewing them together (I can't use a sewing machine). Then I wrote every child's name on one with puffy paint. I managed to put a few pieces of candy in each one and delivered them to the party that week. I'm sad to say that those stockings were the most pitiful looking things I've ever seen (looking back) and I found out later I could have just bought some really fancy looking ones at the dollar tree! But I thought I had to do it.

As mothers we sometimes get in our heads that we have to go over the top. Whether it be volunteering to chair each class party for the year or just simply spending hours decorating a cookie for 20 children who will probably throw it away after the second bite and move onto the next snack; we as mothers put this absurd pressure on ourselves. Now, I have to say that not everyone will succumb to this pressure. And, thankfully, some of us will do it a few times and then come to our senses and never do it again.

I guess it also depends on if that is your thing! If you like to cook or decorate or sew or paint or volunteer to organize that food list then that is what you should do. It is just funny if we don't admit to ourselves that we are partly doing it to impress other mothers along with providing something a little special for our kids.

I don't think any of the other mothers in the room will know whose mom spent the hours making those decorated cowboy boot cookies; and the kids eating them may or may not stop to admire the painted icing that was so carefully decorated on that cooked dough, but I suppose it is all worth it if that mom felt some kind of satisfaction from accomplishing the task.

As for me...I will never hand make stockings for two year olds ever again! But I may just plan a really cool Halloween party in my backyard with lots of crazy games and throw in a few easy bake cookies!