6 legged baby momma friend

I have a companion & inspirational buddy in my last trimester - a beautiful, at one time big bootied, delicate (as my husband often times call me - usually after I get hurt from his "rough housing" with me) and hard working one at that! Who is she? My back yard spider friend. Please admire her pictures and her work of art - another thing we have in common. I'm deligently painting my friend's canvases (thank you thank you thank you for asking me) at the kitchen table and there she is weaving her masterful spider webs right outside my kitchen window so we can all admire her work.
One day the boys in the house (all three of them) kept commenting on my friend's growing backside and they all thought it made for great comic relief. I on the other hand, having compassion and feeling some draw to this female friend, wondered out loud if she was carring babies! Day after day at the supper table the males around here again laughed at that beautiful big booty...while I'm internalizing (don't all women do this?)how big my booty is getting with this pregnancy! It's starting to really get to me - so I chastise them for speaking so rudely behind our backyard guest's back (while I ask for seconds on the mashed potatoes).
Sure enough, we wake up one morning and while eating breakfast at the table we check on the status of our spider and realize her booty is missing! I'm jealous now!!!
And there it is....her first egg sack attached to our window. Now I'm really jealous! Why can't I let my baby grow in a sack hooked securely to the wall so I can get busy on other things while she grows safely in my home? And her figure? It was back to her slim self again. AUGHHHH! Despite all this I still feel drawn to my 6 legged baby momma friend and know that I really do have it made; although, I won't lose my big booty the minute this baby comes out I also won't have to start all over growing more babies and laying more egg sacks (her booty will get big many times before winter) and then just die hoping nature won't be too harsh on my babies as they grow in their sacks until Spring. Oh, the stretch marks she must have hidden down there!